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ARTArticleFeelings and ViolenceI believe that most of the violence in society comes from our aversion to our emotions. We fight the reality of what we feel because we don’t like the feeling. We try to make it go away by resisting what is. We battle with our feelings by drinking, running, eating, refusing to feel. When we have feelings we don’t like, we battle with others by blaming them for how we feel. When we resist our feelings, the emotions get stuck in us and then when something comes along that resembles that stuck emotion, we get triggered and respond as though we are back in time when that first happened to us.ARTArticleFood Addiction and Eating DisordersWhat is food addiction and how is it different than an eating disorder? Food addiction has yet to be acknowledged as a legitimate phenomenon the way drug addiction has. There is, however, a growing number of folks who do indeed see it as a bona fide addiction. Among these are a group of professionals, scientists, and “recovered food addicts” themselves. One grass roots group has offered the following:r ARTArticleFOOD ADDICTION VRS. EATING DISORDERSWHAT ARE EATING DISORDERS? Eating disorders are typically associated with various maladaptive patterns of behavior related to food, it’s consumption, and the ensuing effects on a person’s emotional and physical wellbeing. It may, or may not, include attempts to offset the “consequences” of these behaviors by the use or abuse of compensatory agents and behaviors such as purging, compulsive exercising, periods of self-imposed starvation, and so on.ARTArticleForgivenessIn my last post, I talked about the value of letting go of what no longer serves you. Forgiveness is a biggie in that department. Are you holding onto past hurts in a way that costs you way too much… energy, joy, freedom? Shorting yourself of the peace and lightness that we’re ALL allowed to have in our lives?ARTArticleGratitude"Gratitude is a powerful catalyst for happiness. It's the spark that lights a fire of joy in your soul." ~Amy Collette What’s all this talk about gratitude? It’s EVERYWHERE— social media, inspirational posts, in guided meditations. Gift shops sell gratitude jou als and gratitude jars. If there’s a short list of best practices for your biggest life, a gratitude practice belongs on it. Why is gratitude so popular?ARTArticleHealing Strife in SocietyOut beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. Rumi ARTArticleHow the Power to Forgive Frees Us to LoveOne of the greatest challenges in loving others is to forgive them when they have wronged us and caused us pain. Every time we are wronged, we have to choose how we are going to deal with the hurt. Ultimately, we have to decide if we will forgive the person or persons who have wronged us, or if we will hold on to the hurt. If we hold on to the hurt, it will keep us from loving them. It will keep us angry and upset. We will not be open the release the hurt. Instead, it will continue to fester and grow. Unresolved hurts that are not forgiven continue to cause pain.ARTArticleHow to Choose a Good TherapistEver wonder about how to choose a therapist? Today I would like to share my thoughts on this important question. I believe a client can feel more understood when the therapist has clinical experience with the situation the client is bringing to therapy. And, if the therapist has the same personal experience, even better. This implies that the client knows what conce is bringing them into a therapist's office. But if the client doesn't know, an intuitive therapist can quickly assess and understand what is causing the pain in the client's life.ARTArticleHow to Create the Holidays YOU Really EnjoyIf you are 100 % psyched for the holidays and you can’t wait to enjoy every second, stop reading and have a blast! But if there’s any part of you that isn’t counting the minutes in excited anticipation and loving every minute of your preparations, you may want to keep reading. There are a lot of people feeling stressed right now, maybe a little grumpy. I know people who dread the holidays. I don’t want you to feel like the holidays are something you have to get through; trust me, it doesn’t have to be this way. You likely have a lot more say in this than you realize.ARTArticleHow to Support a Recovering AddictMany people who want their loved ones get rid of substance abuse often think that professional services like detox and rehab are the start and the end of the recovery process. They often fail to understand that these drug rehabilitation centers (http://www.vizown.com) are just the start of a long journey.ARTArticleJump Start your Positive Mindset--Some Fun Ways that Work!We’re going to have fun this week, and I have to thank my team for inspiring this blog. Let me tell you a brief story… We recently had our team call, brainstorming, getting our creative juices flowing, working on programs for the upcoming year (more on this to come!) when we started talking about mindset. We all get in a “funk” now and again, it’s unavoidable, but how do we turn our day around to get back on track, and back to being our most productive selves? It’s tough, isn’t it?ARTArticleKeep Your Health On Track with MindfulnessMindfulness is a tool that can help us live "on purpose" rather than feeling like we are at the whim of all that happens to us. With practice, we can use it to observe ourselves without judgement, respond rather than react in challenging situations, and feel more in control of the choices we make in life.ARTArticleKnow What Affects Your MoodThank you so much for continuing on this journey with me. Last week we took a deeper dive into four key principles to becoming your own mood expert: 1. Keeping Positive 2. Creating a Treasury of Mood Adjusters 3. Assessing your Lifestyle Choices 4. Practicing Gratitude ARTArticleLetting GoWhen I look at people who have fulfilling lives, achieving what they want in work, enjoying satisfying relationships, and are just generally happy campers, they have something in common. They’re in a place of clarity which is so important to function at our best. What’s the difference between those who live in the space of clarity, and those who continue to feel stuck? They likely don’t carry around a lot of baggage, creating room for the positive mindset and energy that we need for a vibrant life.ARTArticleLonely Over the Holidays? Try These Mindfulness Tips.If you are among the 46 percent of Americans who frequently find themselves feeling lonely, the holidays can pose quite a challenge to your sense of well-being. According to the Mayo Clinic, the holidays often exacerbate stress and depression. And for those already struggling to receive the meaningful social interaction they crave on any sort of regular basis, the resulting loneliness can be especially intense in contrast to others’ holiday celebrations.ARTArticleNow Is the Perfect Time to Fire Your Inner CriticAll of us have that annoying voice inside our head that pipes up from time to time to tell us exactly how we’ve messed up, why we shouldn’t try something new, or just how horrible we look in the mirror today. We wouldn’t let someone else treat us this way, so why do we do it to ourselves? The simple answer is that this bully is trying to “protect” us from future defeat or disappointment — but what if we eliminated that role? What if we told our inner critic to pack it up, and that we can take it from here?ARTArticleOvercome Shame and Guilt with MindfulnessOne of the core elements of mindfulness is learning how to identify where emotions are occurring in the body. Emotion is not just an experience of the mind, after all. It is a visceral, whole-self experience. And when you can notice and become aware of the emotions in your body, you can treat yourself with kindness. Two of the most debilitating emotions human beings can feel are shame and guilt. These often cause deep suffering for us when we experience them, and mindfulness is one way we can alleviate this suffering.ARTArticleOvercoming ProcrastinationTHE HIGHLY EFFECTIVE- YET VERY DOABLE - STEPS FOR OVERCOMING PROCRASTINATION We started this blog series talking about procrastination in general, and then shifted our focus to start thinking about what we procrastinate about and why. Now we’re going to get to work! Remember, document your thoughts, read, and reflect on each of these steps. (1) THE 5-MINUTE PLAN ARTArticleRomanticizing FoodIgnoring your mind is simple, but not easy. Why—because as human beings we are programmed to pay attention to and believe our thoughts. A stressful thought pops into our head and faster than the speed of light, the mind lays out reams of proof about why this painful distillation of life is true. Here is the bottom line: If you believe your stressful thoughts, you suffer. If you believe your romantic thoughts about food, you follow them to the refrigerator, and put on weight.r ARTArticleSay Goodbye once-and-for-all to those Mood-Killing Obsessive Spirals...Do you ever catch yourself in the middle of a swirl of negative self-talk? Maybe you find yourself imagining a conversation with someone you know, and before you know it, you're irritated and grumpy, maybe it's even keeping you up at night, making you restless.ARTArticleSay Yes to a Positive MindsetTwo people. Same life circumstances. One has a positive mindset. The other…doesn’t. Think about them both for a moment, what images come to mind? Does one appear happy, handling life with grace, taking setbacks with perspective, while the other seems “off”, struggles with bumps in their path, seems to find the gloom in everything? Pause for a moment and reflect on your circle of friends, I’m sure you can find examples of both. How do you feel around each of them?ARTArticleSelf-Limiting Beliefs-Re-Writing the NarrativeI want to take you back to a time when you were very young. When everything you were to become and create and have in your life was all ahead. The possibilities were endless! Back then, you might not have known it, but you had everything you needed inside of you to create a wonderful, fulfilling life: satisfying work, meaningful relationships, plenty of time and money.ARTArticleShifting Patterns of Learned HelplessnessGrowing up with developmental trauma* can cause patterns of learned helplessness where we shut down, get small, space out, disassociate and eventually get depressed. Another response would be to go into the big one where we puff up and present ourselves as bigger than we are (see “Being the Big One” article https://www.changeworksinc.com/being-the-big-one/). And we can alte ate between being the big one and helplessness. This article is dealing specifically with “learned helplessness” and how to shift that pattern.ARTArticleShrinking the Shame of ADHDTen-year-old Harry finds a sand dollar on the beach; racing over to show his parents this treasure, he plows right through the sand castle that his eight-year-old sister, Carrie, had just started building. Carrie bursts into tears, shouting “I hate you! I hope you die! You always do this! I’ve been working for hours on my pretty castle and you’ve ruined everything!” Harry and Carrie’s parents exchange a familiar look: another beautiful morning at the shore has been derailed by the ADHD-driven behavior of their children.ARTArticleThe Stress-Reducing Power of MindfulnessWe all have things in our lives that we recognize as major stress factors. For me, being a parent to three teenagers with ADHD was a biggie. By the time my twins headed to middle school, I was beginning to experience severe stress symptoms that, at the time, I feared could signal a brain tumor.ARTArticleThe win-win of Giving and Connection during The COVID-19 CrisisWe started last time talking about dealing with the feelings you may be having given the new, very challenging time, we’re finding ourselves in. We will get through this if we work together.ARTArticleThis Costly HabitIt’s a thief. If you procrastinate, it’s likely been robbing you of your happiness: your dream job, the academic degree that will allow you to have a career you’re passionate about. The promotion or raise you’ve been wanting, yet haven’t gotten around to taking the training required for it — the marathon finisher medal you’ve wanted to earn. Your procrastination pattern could be damaging your relationships. Because if you put things off and then cancel plans or are late as a result, you are breaking promises to people.ARTArticleTools To Improve Your MoodLast week we started the conversation about becoming your own mood expert. This is very important to me because I believe, in most cases, the power to change your mindset comes from within. I want to reiterate that in some cases medication is needed to help with depression and anxiety. If you are presently on medication, speak to your doctor before making any changes. You may even want to share my thoughts with them so that they can incorporate them into your treatment plan.ARTArticleTwo Questions Your Teen May Not Be Asking You (Even Though They Want To)Two Questions Your Teen May Not Be Asking You (Even Though They Want To) Teens of every generation have the same questions--but not always the same language and phrasing. The children of 1950s, 60s, and 70s America weren’t asking how to “advocate for themselves” with that specific phrasing--but children and teenages have always asked how to best communicate on behalf of themselves, however limited.ARTArticleWhat does it mean to be mindful, present, conscious?"The joy of being is the joy of being conscious." ~ Eckhart Tolle Some of the readings on the subject can be a little too abstract for me. When I read Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now, a mindfulness classic, I trusted that being present was important, but I have to admit… I didn't really get what he was talking about. After reading, and re-reading his work, I boil it down to this: being present, mindful is a mental state achieved by focusing your awareness on the current moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations.

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