4 Facebook Habits That Kill Authentic Connection and How to Fix Them

One of the most common mistakes that I see is frantically trying to boost your number of friends in hopes that the more friends you have, the easier it will be to share your message. Here’s the scoop, folks. It’s not important whether you have 100 or 5,000 friends. What matters is the quality of the connection. I spend a good amount of time on Facebook and I still see so many folks making the following mistakes:

1. You friend without including a personal message. Social media is about a relevant connection. Ask yourself, “Would I want to be ‘real friends’ with this person? Why?” Resist the impulse to click on the ‘Add Friend’ button. Take a moment to check out their Facebook profile, visit their website. Notice what grabs your attention about them. There should be an authentic desire to connect. Then, make an invitation. Introduce yourself in the message and let them know why you’d like to connect.

2. You only post links to your content, events and programs. I call this being a broadcaster vs. engager. If your Facebook wall is a page of links you fall into the first category. If you find yourself staring at that wall and you can’t quite find anything to say, here are some ideas: (1) contribute your point of view to a conversation, (2) share something specific about a personal passion or hobby, (3) acknowledge clients, colleagues and mentors, (4) celebrate the wins of your colleagues and friends and (5) have fun and enjoy your friends.

3. You tag friends so that they’ll read your posts. You want your presence to be magnetic. Think drafted vs. invited. The level of engagement and interest is quite different between those two, yes? Do tag friends if you’re partnering on an event or you’re acknowledging them, when they appear in your photos (like at a live event), or when you want them to comment on a note. Tagging is a way to engage your friends’ attention. Use it wisely!

4. You make your first post on a friend’s wall all about you. As a matter of fact, do not EVER post the link to your opt in gift, facebook fan page or your next program on someone’s wall! Those posts belong on YOUR wall. When you first friend someone, focus on making a personal comment that weaves connection. This means you will have read their profile or visited their blog or website. If you want to share your message, connect and contribute to others. Share links to your blog posts and articles on your wall. Create value for your friends and they will respond in kind by sharing your posts and links.

Social media is all about creating connection and an aligned community. Though it might take some initial effort on your part, the skills garnered from regular and strategic use of social media will create a strong foundation to grow your business on ALL levels. Then you’ll reap the rewards!