5 Ways to Avoid Awkward Moments When Meeting Someone New

Meeting someone for the first time can be very unnerving, whether it is a business client, a date, or someone who approaches you in at a social function. Trying to maintain an interesting conversation, remaining composed, and finding common interests can be extremely difficult, and even those highly skilled in social interaction may step into trouble. Here are a few tips that can help you avoid any uneasiness, or at least keep the awkward moments to a minimum.

#1 Keep it Light

When meeting for the first time, you do not know their background, temperament, or personality. Until you have a better idea of who they are, keep the conversation light and simple. You never know what will offend or what subjects are off limits to another individual. A harmless sarcastic joke to you may be interpreted as an insult by someone else. This also applies to physical interaction. Many people are comfortable and open with touching and distance with people in general, however, there are many who are not. Be respectful of the levels of comfort in others, and be careful how you interact. If you want to take the conversation to a deeper level, take notice in the way they talk and move. If their body visibly relaxes, they lean in, or their speaking style seems less restricted, test the waters. Suggest a deeper, possibly more controversial subject, let them know something personal about you, or give them a friendly pat on the back. If you see a positive response, continue on. If you observe unease, take a step back to a lighter subject.

#2 Sharing Too Much Information

If the conversation shifts to a deeper topic, be careful about what information you share. Although you may be engaged in a discussion of fine wines with a date, they do not necessarily need to know the details of what you did the last time you drank too much. You may know it was an isolated incident, but your date may see an alcoholic sitting in front of them. In a business setting, you may want to build a rapport by sharing something personal with others, but be careful with what you share. An embarrassing story about yourself can be seen as a story about your reckless behavior to someone else. This tip is not applicable in every situation, sometimes conversations can get very personal without problems. However, when making a first impression, you need to think about what you are saying, and how well the person knows you. Giving too much in the beginning can not only give the wrong impression, but can also make the person you are talking with uncomfortable.

#3 Do Not Come on Too Strong

A common mistake in new situations is trying too hard to impress, or moving too fast to create a bond with someone. It is important to be confident, but not boastful. We want other people to know how smart, successful, and funny we are, but by talking at length about these traits or accomplishments that demonstrate these qualities, we are only demonstrating our arrogance. If you are truly confident in these areas, they will show in the conversation.

If you feel a connection with someone, do not assume that it means friendship. You may feel secure enough to get closer to your new acquaintance, however your acquaintance may think otherwise. Do not force a connection. Like tip #1, observe the other person’s behavior and speech and determine whether they feel that same connection. Test the waters before jumping in.

#4 Use Your Social Graces

Occasionally the most competent communicators find themselves in awkward situations. A line is crossed, or a comment is interpreted incorrectly. When you find yourself in this position, the proper response can save you. It is easier than it seems when you know how to react. If you have offended someone, simply apologize, explain you meant no offense, clarify what you meant, and move on. If the other person can tell your apology is sincere, they should be able to move on too. If you have suggested a subject they deem inappropriate, apologize if necessary, change the subject, and let it go. Do not dwell on it. If the person does not want to discuss something, most likely they do not want to hear an endless apology on it either.

#5 Have an Exit Strategy

If the tables have turned, and you have been put in an uneasy situation by someone else, or the conversation is not going anywhere, and you find yourself locked in a dreaded silence, find an excuse to leave. If you are at a party, excuse yourself to get another drink, or tell the other person you need to say hello to a friend you have not gotten a chance to greet yet. At a networking function, simply thank them for your time. Make sure the other person knows you appreciate the time they took to speak with you, and if you have a reason for ending the conversation, clarify its validity to the other person.

As mentioned before, none of these tips are set in stone. Sometimes connections are made instantly, and the bonding can take effect quickly. The conversation can take a controversial turn that is not outside the comfort level of the participants and can continue without conflict. The best way to avoid unnecessary awkward moments is by truly taking the other person into consideration. Knowing that they are unique individuals, and have different responses to other people based on their personality and experiences. Observe and respect comfort levels, act and speak appropriately based on them, and use common sense.