A Lesson in Patience

A Lesson in Patience
“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.”
—Greg Anderson

“Success is a journey not a destination. The doing is usually more important than the outcome. Not everyone can be Number 1.”
—Arthur Robert Ashe, Jr.

When I was younger, I always felt like an adult living in a child’s body. When I was 11 my Grandfather, on the sly, began to teach me how to drive the back roads of Burley Idaho during pheasant hunting season. Not wanting to wait until I was sixteen, I enthusiastically took to driving. I was a fast learner. Not only did I feel more grown up but, with my new skills, I could also act more grown up. By the time I was 16, I was already an accomplished driver, just like Mario Andretti. Little did I know that my fast-pace desire to reach my destination of adulthood would take an amusing turn.

I began to amass a high number of speeding tickets. By the time I was 18, my license had been suspended for 30 days and I had enrolled in defensive driving course. My parents were extremely unhappy as their insurance premiums increased dramatically.

As I passed into adulthood, I averaged about one to two speeding tickets per year. For me, it was no big deal paying the fine and watching my insurance rates go up. But, hey, I was an adult and a doctor could afford to pay the fines and penalties.

Early in 2005, I received a letter from the Utah Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) stating that I had exceeded my point allowance and that I needed to take another Defensive Driving course to decrease my points. So, I sat in the class for four hours to drop 50 points off my driving record. However, I continued to rationalize, justify, and defend my position. To me, the amount of speeding tickets did not reflect my ability as a driver. I continued to drive as fast as I could.

During this time, although I was still driving fast, I began to realize that my “lead foot” was a rebellion against authority; “sticking it to the man!” as Jack Black says in the movie, School of Rock.

After this second Defensive Driving course, I slowed down for a little while. Then in September of 2005, I’ll be damned if I did not get another speeding ticket. “Big Brother” was out to get me. Now I really had issues with “The Man.”

I received another letter requesting my presence at the DMV to discuss my future driving privileges. Now I had a meeting face to face with “The Man.” As I strolled down the catacombs to the chambers of “The Man” who held my driving future in the palm of his hand, I thought “Be humble, Act humble!” As I sat down, he pulled my file and began to unfold the printout of my driving record. I was surprised to see my record was five pages long. They had a record of every violation since I had started driving in the mid 1980s.

“The Man” politely gave me my options. Option one: I can turn in my license and not drive for three months. At the end of that time, my points would be cut in half. With two kids and a busy practice, Option 1 was not for me. Option 2: continue driving, but do not get any tickets for one year and your points will be cut in half. I went with Option 2. I humbly thanked him and left. “The Man” was not so bad after all!

After meeting “The Man,” I had lunch with my friend, Nick, who happens to be a Shaman. Nick noticed my eating habits, how I seemed to inhale my food with incredible velocity. He told me that my eating habits matched my driving habits. Nick told me that I am totally consumed with the destination and not the process (journey) of getting there. The car represents power, allowing me to get to my destination much faster. However, after reaching my destination, I am never truly satisfied because I neglected the messages and lessons of the journey. (The ironic thing about hanging around with talented healers with incredible insight: they nail you to the wall every time). Nick also said that my rebellion against authority came from fear. Fear of owning the traits of authority or power within myself. After this enlightening discussion, I transformed myself with my willingness to heal these aspects of myself (and a little Shaman work).

I now enjoy driving, often taking the long way home or the most scenic route. If I want, I allow myself to pull over and take in scenery. I have also slowed my eating down, enjoying each bite as I go.

Learning patience was a big lesson for me. However, I am still working on my patience when waiting in grocery store lines.

As far as dealing with authority, I have learned to own the authoritarian in me and use it when appropriate, a characteristic of reclaiming and owning your power. If I had never owned the fact that I am an authority on health and wellness, this book might have never been written.