Adding a Desired Outcome to Your Relationships

Relationships without a desired outcome can come across as meaningless and superficial. A relationship with no Desired Outcome is not a relationship at all. It is merely a momentary, superficial exchange between or among people. Add a Desired Outcome, such as a business agreement or even a mutual desire for friendship, and suddenly the expectations of and requirements for both parties reach a much higher level. For example, when two people make eye contact in a hotel lobby (at least in Western cultures), it is natural for them to smile, say hello, or acknowledge each other in some way. That is not necessarily a relationship of great significance. Assuming they ride together on the elevator and exchange comments on the weather, they are still simply in superficial "transaction mode" with each other. But let's assume that they soon discover they're both headed for a boardroom in which they will be introduced to one another and invited to engage in a discussion of a new business agreement. Then a significant relationship begins to develop. Once they make this discovery, their dialogue takes on new dimensions. They become significantly more interested in one another. They listen more carefully, interact more intentionally, and take the entire experience more seriously. This is because they are now invested in the relationship; if it goes well, they stand to gain something, and if not, they may lose a lot.