Anger Management

Anger Management

Release of anger (to control) is expressing the anger that you have in a healthy way. Keeping anger inside or making it go away, is not effective anger management and plain and simple…does not work. Effective anger management control involves differentiating unhealthy from healthy expressions of anger, understanding, what is anger and where is it coming from, identifying the unresolved issues behind your anger and learning to heal the pain and trauma that is underlying your anger. Resolution to anger in oneself is relevant in relationships as well as ones everyday life.
Techniquesr
Anger afflicts our minds and is one of the most destructive delusions we face on a daily basis. First we must acknowledge the anger that is in our mind and how it is harming us and those around us.
So, what is anger you ask?
A deluded mind that’s main focus is an animate or inanimate object is anger. It feels to be unattractive, its bad qualities are exaggerated, and harm is wished upon it. Anger is very ugly; it can lead to some really nasty thoughts in life and cause some really bad actions to occur. When one focus’ on the bad qualities of the animate or inanimate object it irritates one and causes us to be oblivion to it’s’ kindness or good qualities. This causes one to develop a mental image of an intrinsically faulty person who can do no right, sometimes even leaves one feeling as though they are threatened by the object.

Anger definitely has its’ faults and is the most destructive action that one can experience, it runs amuck by destroying ones happiness and peace and ultimately will lead to an extreme amount of suffering. Anger blocks us in all aspects of life including spiritually and is a painful state of mind by nature. When anger is developed ones inner peace automatically diminishes, our bodies become tense, we are restless and uncomfortable, causing issues with sleep and unpalatable tastes.

Anger robs us of our good sense and reasoning abilities. One will expose themselves to great dangers simply to extract petty revenge. It is viewed as an injustice done to us and one will jeopardize anything or even everything to practice revenge against it. Anger can lead to one to being alienated by others and very alone.

Identifying Angerr
It is extremely relevant to identify the exact cause of one’s anger or unhappy feelings. Just because we are outraged at someone or something does not mean that that person or that thing is the exact anger. One will tend to seek out someone or something to focus their anger on. However, many times it is a sign of personal problems and/or fault of oneself. When one’s mind dwells in patience, you are free of anger and an urge to wish or do harm to oneself, anyone else or anything. By uprooting ones anger they are banning all enemies from their mind.

When one has the ability to identify or recognize a thought before it develops into full-blown anger, it is much easier to grab a hold of and control. There is a great difference between controlling anger and repressing it. Repressing anger occurs when it is totally develop in our mind but, one will refuse to acknowledge it and deny its presence. One will present themselves to others as though they are free of the anger but in reality it is eating away at them inside their minds. This can become extremely dangerous and have some major negative results associate with it.

When one becomes strong minded enough to take a hold of their anger it ables them to focus clearly on the source of where the anger deriving from. One will make a decision to have a healthy conscious mind about their anger so that they do not self-destruct

So, why do we get angry?
It is a responsive feeling to one being unhappy, rather it is with themselves, their career or lack of one, others, things around them or even a pet. An uncomfortable feeling can force one to feel anger. It is unfortunate one does not have control over all things in their world, if this were true they would have the ability to have happiness all the time and would never know what it is like to feel anger. What happens to us in reality is faith.

Relationships and Angerr
Relationship and anger are a lethal combination. Unless one make a conscious effort minute by minute to deal with their anger before it becomes full-blown, their relationships will suffer.

Because we form bonds with those around us due to the fact that we are in such close proximities with them daily, many time two people’s interests, personalities, ways of doing things and priorities will clash…often. Because of the bond that one will feel we can say or do anything because we are loved and always forgiven by the other person. One will tend to be critical and judgmental of them and even tend to lay blame on them for their short comings. When two people are constantly angry with one another there becomes fewer and fewer times when they are together that they will be happy with one another. It will literally choke the life out of the relationship, ultimately ending it. Love cannot and will not survive in those circumstances.

It is pertinent to make a conscious effort, minute by minute to be aware of your own feelings, this will allow you to maintain control of any anger you maybe harboring inside of your mind. Be conscious of what you will say, how you will say it, present positive body language. Use respectful words, you do not want to say something that you will regret, once words are out apologies do not always take away the feelings that what you said gave to the other person.

OMG! Dealing with the Angerr
Oh my God! Dealing with your anger can seem impossible because when you allow it to maintain housing in your brain and you are constantly focusing on the anger issue, it becomes embedded. Sure it is not always possible to control everything around you or stop unwanted things from happening, but ultimately you must find a healthy way to let go of your anger. You can do this by using patience.

When patience is present IT IS impossible to have unhappy thoughts. Patience is when you practice positive only and you are able to accept 100% and happily whatever it is that occurs to you. It is not about putting up with anything or overlooking, or even bearing down on your teeth inside and smiling on the outside. Patience is when you whole heartedly accept anything with happiness. You either have to understand there are many things we cannot control, so therefore one will have to go with the flow, or work on it one step at a time and do it happily or accept that things are not the way you thought of them. There is absolutely no excuse for not having patience. Things will happen and come when they happen and come, it is faith and we cannot change faith. One is not given anything in life that they cannot handle. Though it may seem impossible to deal with, we as humans are given the ability to deal with things we are given through patience.

Just because we have patience that does not mean we do not have to take any steps towards improving situations. Taking steps is part of the process of patience. As long as we are in samsara it is impossible to avoid un-pleasantries or situations that are not to ones likings. However, by training our minds to look at things in realistic meaning we have the ability to free ourselves from much unnecessary mental suffering and misgivings.

The Benefits of Patiencer
The reality in our emotional problems is something as simple as failure to accept things the way they are, or someone the way they are. Why should we harbor others problems, we are only accountable for ourselves, no one else.

We are not here on Earth to judge others, change others. We must accept the things we cannot change, that is beyond our control and accepting that is patience. Problems do not exist outside of our mind, so when we stop using our eyes to see others as a problem, they stop being a problem. When we practice patience we help others be patience as well.

There are three types of patience and none come easily. The first is patience of definitely thinking about Dharma, the second is not retaliating and the third is voluntarily accepting suffering.

When one implements patience into their mind they will be over whelmed with a sense of peace and calmness. But we must remain conscious all the time, see things in reality and learn to balance ourselves along with our lives we have been given. We can change our clothing, our cars, our houses, the foods we eat and even our friends, however, we cannot change the life we were given. Accept patience and become fulfilled.