Another Critical Life Skill You Aren’t Leveraging

Human beings have survived for 2.5 million years because we are the most highly adaptable species on the planet. We adapt to both subtle and extreme shifts in our environment quickly. And for the most part, I believe, gracefully.

When I used to visit my grandmother in Indiana, I’d fly in and rent a car. Within 10 minutes, I had adapted to my new environment. I could change stations on the radio (my highest priority). I could turn on the headlights and windshield wipers. I could maneuver the pedals and steer a car I had never seen before in a city I’d never been in before. No big deal.

Closer to home, you and I can quickly find a new route to work when there is road construction or an accident. We think nothing of changing our plans for the day when one or more appointments are cancelled or scheduled.

But we take these minor adaptabilities for granted. Instead of leveraging this ability to confidently create change in all parts of our lives, we repeat one of the most common laments of the new millennium: change is hard.

But indeed, change is the new normal. Marsha Sinetar said that there have been more changes in the last 40 years than in the previous 1,000 years. Honestly, you’re really good at rolling with change. You’re a master changer, so use this skill to your highest benefit, every day.

How you view the concept of change reveals your fundamental outlook on life, whether generally optimistic or pessimistic. Optimists generally look for ways to flow with changes and make the most of them, while pessimists tend to resist, complain about and squander the opportunities inherent in change.

I don’t think anyone fears change, but many people resist change because they aren’t confident in their ability to avoid losing something they value in the midst of change. And everyone who feels at they’re in control of the direction of the change believes that planned change will make their lives better.

What's Your New Fab Hab?

My final rant on the subject of New Year's resolutions—breaking old habits—dovetails nicely with the debunking of the myth that change is hard. When you're aware of how masterful you are at the skill of adaptation, you can embrace just how simple the process is to drop any unwanted habit of thought, feeling or behavior and form a new one.

I've seen lots of ordinary people permanently kick habits on their own, like smoking and overeating (sometimes after a few tries). I watched a man I'll call Joshua (about 30 years old) “wake up” to the realization that his 15-year smoking habit could cut his life short. He put down his cigarettes, and never picked them back up. That was 22 years ago.

This guy would describe himself as of average intelligence; not especially disciplined. How did he quit smoking? Joshua kept thinking about his two young sons, and the long, happy life he wanted to share with them. And Joshua was happily surprised at how easy it was to quit smoking.

He realized that, most of the time, he lit up without considering if he really wanted to smoke. And when Joshua made the choice from conscious awareness, he simply didn't have a strong desire to smoke. Rather, his desire to enjoy his kids was much stronger than his old habit of smoking.

In my observation, the key to any new habit sticking is how free you are to fully embrace your deepest desires.

As I've said many times in this blog, your daily experiences are defined by what you give your attention to. So if you focus your attention on controlling an old habit, you'll experience the struggle of how hard it is to break that habit.

On the other hand, if you think about how the new habit will make your life awesome, your daily experience will reflect this enthusiasm. Accordingly, your fertile imagination will give you oodles of ideas of ways you can cultivate your fab new habit.

So set yourself free to focus on what you want, and the fab hab's will follow!

Coaching Question: What thoughts block you from setting yourself free to embrace your deepest desires?