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Coping With Stress: It's All In Your Approach!

Topic: AnxietyBy Melissa E. Stefanski, BS, MA, CHPublished Recently added

Once you have examined the causes and symptoms of your stress and done a critical analysis of these,it's time to explore other ways of coping with stress. It's time to examine your best overall approach for tackling your stressful issues. How does stress manifest itself in your behavior? Do you...? Slow down: freeze, space out orr
Speed up: become angry or agitated Here are some considerations for coping with stress. These are the "4 A's." AVOID the Stressor Not all avoidance is bad. Sometimes a great way of coping with stress is by putting off a stressful issue until there is a better time to deal with it or you have more resources to deal with it. Also, some stressful issues simply need to be told "No" and "put to rest" permanently! Can you say "No"? Avoid stressful people. Try surrounding yourself with positive people as much as possible. Reduce the time you spend with people who stress you out or drain your energy. Control your environment. If being stuck in morning traffic stresses you out, avoid it by leaving home earlier or taking a different route. If you become tense entering a party with tons of people, avoid this by being the first to arrive. Avoid "hot button" topics. If getting into the same heated debate with your parents is aggravating, don't engage! If there is no reasoning with someone, just let it go. Pare down your to-do list. Rather than focus so much on time management, assess your priorities. What are the most important goals you want to accomplish? Focus on those and leave the rest for now. Better to do a great job at accomplishing a few important goals than doing a mediocre job working on a bunch of goals at the same time. ALTER the Situation Is there any way of making the current stressful situation better? Express yourself. Can you express to someone how you are feeling and improve the situation? Could you negotiate a raise at work? Could you talk to your spouse and children about sharing chores? Compromise. Try to meet someone midway in order to at least decrease your stress level. Share the load? Be assertive. Take a stand for what is important to you. Stress often abounds when we feel we have no choice or when we sense our values are compromised. Figure out what you believe in and what you value and assert them. Manage time & priorities. We often try to figure out how to squeeze everything into our day. We call this time management, but it may actually be a case of over-scheduling ourselves. We end up spread too thinly and not really giving or being our best in any of the activities we were trying so hard to fit in. It is better to work on setting priorities and focusing time and effort on fulfilling top goals optimally. ADAPT to the situatio
Sometimes there are situations in your life you just have to make the best of! Reframe the problem. Examine your perceptions, your beliefs with regard to the stressor. Could you look at it differently? Being stuck in traffic may be annoying, but could it also be an opportunity to talk to your child sitting next to you? Look at the "Big Picture." In the grand scheme of life, will the things that are stressing you out today matter next week? A year from now? Five years from now? Say "No" to perfection. If you are a perfectionist, you are at high risk of frequent stress. It is simply too much to ask yourself or anyone else to be perfect. Are you asking for too much? If you take a step back from the situation, would the stressor seem "not so bad" to an outsider? Stay positive. All you have control over is you and your attitude. Is a negative attitude sabotaging the situation? Is there something positive - no matter how small - you can pick out of the stressor? A silver lining? ACCEPT the things you cannot change Look at what's beyond your control. Realize what you have no control over. Look at what you have no influence over or say about. We really only have control over ourselves. If altering or adapting to the stressful situation are not options, acceptance may be the only way to go. You may have to let the situation go altogether and move on to something else.

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About the Author

Melissa E. Stefanski, BS, MA, CHrnI am the publisher of www.know-stress-zone.com and www.hypno-insight.com . I received a Bachelor of Science degree (1996) in Psychology with a minor in Biochemistry from McGill University in Montreal, Canada and a Master of Arts degree (1998) in Counseling Psychology. I am a certified hypnotherapist through the National Guild of Hypnotists. My experience includes over 12 years of individual and group counseling and behavioral programming. Over the years, I have worked in various settings including inpatient substance abuse rehabilitation centers, behavioral programming treatment facilities, and mental health counseling centers for individual therapy. I help clients achieve their goals, whether it be to reduce stress, lose weight, quit smoking, pass a test, or build confidence. My focus is always client-centered and solution-based. I always appreciate stress relief tips I receive from others. So, I will share whatever stress management knowledge comes my way. The more tools the better!

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