Backward And Forward

I missed one morning of not jou
aling and feeling guilty as hell! But, I’m back at it, thank God! A small voice from within me, whispers, “This is a test -- do all that you’ve agreed to do.” “I will, I will,” I cried! I promised myself then, to do that for myself every day and I’ve kept that one promised made many years ago.

I had a dream one night a few months ago about a white car; it was traveling in reverse, up an incline. Alongside the hill stood a female observer who kept repeating the words, “interesting, interesting…” There was a spiritual lesson in this for me but I didn’t know exactly what it could be. After a day of contemplation, what I came up with was that I was traveling backward in my spiritual unfolding. I accepted that truth and thought no more about it. Over the next couple of days, I began to think about leading a book discussion class, but I didn’t have a title of any one particular book that I wanted to discuss. One morning after practicing a spiritual exercise, singing the word HUN (an ancient name for God and a holy sound, for me, a love song to The Creator).

Being silent for a few minutes in contemplation, I glanced up at the ceiling of my living room. I saw some imperfections in the stucco that I’d surely seen before, but never really seen, if you know what I mean. There were three jagged lines and they formed the letter “Z”. This has a great significance for me; it’s part of a nickname of my Spiritual Guide, Wahl Z.

My mind had began to wander about the duties and challenges that I faced, and my first thought was that this was a way for the Master to get my attention, to have me focus my attention on more of the infinite and the divine. What a revelation I thought! I then got my day started. I checked my e-mails, wrote letters and sent cards to friends, called a few people I hadn’t shared with in awhile. It was then that I remembered I hadn’t read anything uplifting to start my day. I glanced across the room and saw a book lying on a chair; I walked across the room, picked it up and opened the book at random.

I opened the book to a story in which the Master, the outer form of my Spiritual Master, told about a dream of a woman, also a spiritual seeker. He said, “Here is a spiritual dream, so that when you have one you will have a measure to compare it with.” I’d no idea how close to home it hit for me! The story was about a lady who was standing alongside the ocean. She was looking at the mounds of sand and found some booklets buried there. A Spiritual Master was there and read the message from one of the booklets for her. The message said, “You’ve won a white used car”. What stood out for her was that it was a “used” car. She wondered, “Why not a new car?” Still hoping for a “new” car, she pulled another booklet from the mound and the Master read, “You’ve won $113,000 in groceries.” Then the spiritual meaning became clear for her (as it did for me) that she’d taken a step backward in her spiritual life. The seeker was shocked to see just how attached she’d become to worldly things – and so was I!

“Wow,” I said aloud! This was proof positive for me that I too had taken a step backward in my spiritual life. I too had become attached to the material things, and this was a sure confirmation that I sought. It left no doubt that I’d interpreted my dream in exactly the right way -- the same way! I couldn’t have hoped nor asked for an interpretation or proof more clear than what I’d received.

The spiritual significance of a car, for me, is that it most often represents a state of consciousness. A car, like a state of consciousness, transports you from one point to another; you travel (in both the outer world and the inner worlds) to another level or destination. Though I’m not sure if the car in my dream was a used car, the point was that I was trying to travel up hill – in reverse! I’d been trying to gain a higher state of consciousness by traveling in reverse on my jou
ey to higher ground. This was quite a humbling revelation.

A friend, who is an exciting and creative artist, gifted me with a small picture-like postcard. In the painting, there is a beautiful little red car traveling up a steep incline, a hill. The scene is filled with all kinds of foliage, green grass, flowers, blue skies and yes, a few clouds. I love that picture; it’s just one of my favorites. Seated in the back seat of the red car is a woman smiling, appearing to be enjoying her jou
ey uphill. Actually, the woman seated in the back looks a lot like my friend. But this particular morning, the woman in the seat took on another identity. The woman is me! It is I who sits in the seat of the little red car – this time, traveling uphill!

This revelation has allowed me to travel more easily into the higher planes, into higher states of consciousness. What a way to start the day I thought. And to think, I’m the best today, than I’ve ever been spiritually in all my lifetimes!

This is how I start my day, every day, with the thought that I am the best today than I’ve ever been spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. And because I love words and because words are so powerful, I speak those words to me, Soul, to the Universe, to the heavens, into the ethers -- this is my daily promise to myself, my declaration.

Love and Blessings,nnnn