Article

Balance in Life: What Do I Need Less Of?

Topic: Blended FamiliesBy Alyssa M. JohnsonPublished Recently added

Legacy signals

Legacy popularity: 1,405 legacy views

Legacy rating: 4/5 from 1 archived votes

Last week we looked at having more balance in life by asking “What do I want more of?” This week, I want to help you take the opposite approach with a little twist. There’s great power in words. I share this principle with my clients all the time. Take a minute and notice how your emotional response changes between these two sentences:

I want to have 15 minutes of quiet

I need to have 15 minutes of quiet.

One word change – from want to need. But it makes all the difference. Want represents something that would be nice. Need is seen more as a gotta have. Wants are easy to dismiss or feel selfish about. Needs are, well, something you need! :)

So, as we continue our discussion on creating more balance in life, I want you to go through the same process as last week, with this new question. “What do I need less of?” Remember to not get caught up in right or wrong’s here.

Here are the steps once again:

Set a timer for 5 minutes. We’re not talking a lot of time, you can do this.
Ask yourself that question – “What do I need less of?”
For the next 5 minutes write down everything that pops in your head. Don’t censor it. Don’t question it. Don’t worry if it sounds crazy or you think it’s impossible. Just write.

Now what? Just like before, it’s time to look through that list for themes or patterns. Don’t focus on the individual items right now, just look for the broad patterns. Really drill down and find those commonalities.

Once you’ve finished that, go back and re-read all of your individual items. Go ahead and place a star next to the 3 that you feel the strongest about. It’s critical that you don’t judge them or try to figure out how to make them go away right now. Just be critically honest with yourself.

Remember, finding balance in life is more like a cross country event than a sprint. Now, write out those items that are starred and the themes/patterns you noticed on a separate sheet of paper. Hang them by last week’s list so you’ll see both of them daily. Again, I don’t want you to jump into doing anything with them right now other than commit to reading both of them at least once a day.

You’ll find much more creative ways of addressing both of these lists if you just give yourself permission to look over them rather than react. You’ll get your “aha” and then you’ll know how to move forward and you’ll find more balance in life. Don’t forget to post below some of those items on your list! We can create a community list to help increase everyone’s creativity.

Article author

About the Author

Feel guilty about not being the wife/mom you want to be? Tired of saying “yes” to things you don’t want to do? Know there’s got to be more to life, but can’t find it?Visit www.VibrantlyLive.com for more great info to help you vibrantly live rather than just go through the motions.

Be sure to pick up my free report: Stop Trying to be Perfect! 4 Easy Ways to Enjoy Your Life while you're there as well!

Further reading

Further Reading

4 total

Article

I hear the same story time and again; “the kids liked me until I married their father.” So why is it that marriage often serves as the trigger, transforming once charming children into sullen stepkids? Many parents mistakenly believe that because the children are happy about the courtship that they will be happy about the marriage. They’re surprised to find that the kids no longer want step-mom-to-be included in family outings or special occasions. It’s likely that in the beginning you did things for your spouse’s kids hoping that they would like you.

Related piece

Article

Stepfamilies are like snowflakes, no two are exactly the same. My stepkids live with me full time, but that isn't the case for many step-mothers. Many of you are probably spending a lot more time with your stepkids than you are used to doing. This post is dedicated to those of you that might be experiencing a difficult transition from part-time to full-time stepparent. Here are my suggestions for an enjoyable extended stay for your stepfamily: 1. Before the visit, talk to you spouse about your hopes, expectations and concerns.

Related piece

Website

Tools for remarried parents merging two families into one, establishing a strong stepfamily and a peaceful environment.

Related piece

Article

Do you still define your ex in terms of your failed relationship, or do you relate to him/her strictly as "the other parent"? How you frame your perception of your former spouse has a tremendous impact on your co-parenting relationship. The two of you may not be friends, but you’ll always be your children’s rnparents. Defining one another in terms of your own past relationship often brings up negative feelings of disappointment, resentment and anger. It’s no wonder that you forget to treat each other as co-parents and instead see each other as a reminder of your failed past.

Related piece