Focus on Listening

Do you really listen to others? Or do you simply hear what they're saying?"What's the difference?" I hear you say. Well, with the help of Carol Mc Call, Master Coach, this is what I've learnt.

Persons speak to us and we don't listen! We hear them.
We listen 25% of the time and hear and make up the rest of the story 75% of the time. And of course while they're talking, our mind is going at 25 miles per hour thinking of our next question, right?

Listen folks! When we listen and I mean truly listen we respect the other person and we respect their views and opinions. The speaker can be heard and his message can then be understood. The message is communicated in totality and with clarity.

As a child have you ever played that game where someone whispers something to someone else who in turn whispers what she hears to another person... and around it goes. But by time the message comes back to the original person it is 'way off'.

This is the distortion of the message and is what happens when we don't listen. We think we hear what the previous person says.

My friends this is okay for a child's game but can you imagine the serious implications for us as adults when we don't listen?

When our boss doesn't listen to us… when rich countries don't listen to the poor ones…when the West doesn't listen to the East or vice versa… when husbands don't listen to their wives..

Can you see the importance of listening?

The listener actually hears and understands the message conveyed. This leads to increased vitality, freedom and more productive persons overall.

Think about it.

If your boss actually listened to your ideas instead of shoving them under the carpet. Could you see the possibilities here if none of our messages are mis-interpreted?

What a wonderful world it would be.

Below I've included 7 quick tips to become a highly effective listener.nn***Wait until the speaker has finished his or her point before you bring up your own pointnn***Try not to interrupt however, before you interrupt ask the speaker "are you finished?" or "can I stop you there?"nn***Switch off from yourself and switch on to the other person. Be really really really interested in what the other person is saying nn***If the conversation is face-to-face look into the person's eyes. That shows them that you are in fact listening to them (and not thinking about what you're going to eat for lunch!).nn***Understand that EVERYONE has an opinion no matter how small, big or insignificant you may think that opinion is.nn***Do absolutely NOTHING when you're listening. Just listen! Don't fidget or watch TV or clean your nails or read your email….nn***For conversations on the phone try concentrating on your breathing and focusing on the other person's voice.

Try these and let me know how you do. I can almost guarantee that you will be more appreciated in all aspects of your life.