That fictional sport from Harry Potter has a real parallel to
body language. No, it isn't because broom flying is required to really get you into the game. A Quidditch team has four different positions, each one corresponding to a different approach to nonverbal communication.
Wizards at Deeper Perception don't just do aura readings, using energy fields as the basis for spiritual reading, or reading faces as a flying-off point for intuitive reading. Some of the most perceptive people around read ONLY body language... so far at least. I hope to change that, of course, with my (now) 2-day-old book, Read People Deeper: Body Language + Face Reading + Auras. (
)
But here let's give credit where it's due, knocking around that credit as if playfully batting a bludger. Let's talk sports!
CHASERS
Do you read
body language as a chaser? That's where you just know there has got to be something deeper to your relationships, so you keep chasing after it.
Maybe greater intimacy is your game. Maybe you're subconsciously avoiding intimacy. Chasing meaning through expression and gesture can help you do either.
Since childhood, you've been coached to read expressions for approval, disdain, mushy-gushies, whatevers. Then the REALLY major teaching tool took over, television.
Think back to what you learned when you first learned how to watch TV. First you probably had to stop chasing around the room and sit still, like the grownups. Then you learned to follow a story. And soon afterwards you found that, at certain times during the story, things would become really important.
Special music would cue you. The characters would stop moving around quite so much on screen and camera angles would favor head shots. TV was teaching you to watch each major actor's expressions.
Today you can watch TV with the sound off and you'll appreciate how often expression is the main story. If you're a chaser, there can be a sameness to focusing on nonverbal communication.
Try a chapter a day from the set of 50 in Read People Deeper. One day you can watch for secrets of romance, another for sense of humor, and so on. (Find a list of the book's 50 categories here.
)
Otherwise, you're likely to think you are going really deep (chasing intimacy) when you're really finding minute variations in mood. Or you'll feel really safe (avoiding intimacy) because you have managed to find an expression that turns you off. Neither approach really qualifies as reading people much deeper, though at least you're not reading like a beater.
BEATERS
Body language can be one of the best defenses against getting to know who people really are, deep down. Not that I'm recommending this any more than inviting you to bludgeon me with any sporting equipment at all, next time we meet. I'm no quaffle, after all.
But some folks have learned to scan faces and bodies for looks that mean the person is "shifty" or "inscrutable" or otherwise "bad." Body language can justify prejudice of all kinds, turning cultural differences into signs that a person can never fit in. An observer may just dislike someone's version of interactional synchrony, his kinesphere, or her physiographic gestures (all of which you can learn to read with great finesse from Read People Deeper). And, okay, I won't be coy: Here's the link to order a copy:
One of my secret ambitions in life -- admittedly, no longer so secret -- is to raise consciousness for this sort of enterprise. I hope to help beaters to find a more peaceable way to relate to humanity. To be blunt, if not bludgering, my book is planned, in part, as a stealth gift for bigots. (Blog-Buddies, let me know if that works for people like those described in our earlier laugh fest.
http://www.rose-rosetree.com/blog/?p=250)
KEEPER
Empaths, as you may know, are the 1 in 20 people who have at least one lifelong, magnificent gift for directly experiencing what it is like to be other people. If this term is new to you, I'd recommend these FAQs:
I suspect that people who are attracted to articles like this one tend to be that 1 in 20, out of the general population. (You'll find community at my blog,
.)
Empaths need to keep their gifts turned OFF most of the time. --
-- Otherwise we take on stuff belonging to other people, like fear and pain and the craving to eat every kind of junk food offered at public sporting events.
Smart empaths can actually use the study of
body language, in a very specialized way, to help turn their gifts OFF, as I hope to describe in a future post. Many of you Blog-Buddies are not just empaths, but skilled ones. Have you figured out how this
body language ploy is done?
SEEKERS
Finally we come to the seekers. Quidditch depends most on the Harry Potters of the game, those high flying, quick witted seekers. And the glory of the
body language game may ultimately belong to them, too.
For seekers, it isn't enough to notice post-smile animation or other signs of engagement. To a really curious observer, the most interesting nonverbal communication doesn't wrap up a story at all. Instead, you go chasing after the meaning, just as if you'd just glimpsed the golden snitch with your peripheral vision.
How will you catch it, that elusive winged truth? You can definitely use
body language as a starting off place to read people deeper. Tomorrow I'll go into detail about the fascinating relationship between
body language and aura reading.n