Book Review: Angry All the Time - An Emergency Guide to Anger Control

The book “Angry All the Time: An Emergency Guide to Anger Control” is a best-selling classic that has helped tens of thousands of people overcome their problems with anger. The author of the book, Ron Potter-Efron, Ph.D., is a clinical psychotherapist in private practice with a special focus on anger management. In addition to "Angry All The Time", he’s also the author of "Working Anger: Preventing and Resolving Conflict on the Job "and "Stop the Anger Now". He’s also co-author with Pat Potter-Efron, Ph.D., of "Letting Go of Anger” and “The Secret Message of Shame".

In “Angry All the Time”, Potter-Efron explains that very angry people live in a trap. They’re constantly saying things they don’t mean, berating the people they love, and getting into trouble because of their anger. Angry people are stuck in a vicious cycle which is very hard to break. However, this book provides a game plan to help the reader control and manage their anger.

Here’s a quote from the book:

“You are habitually angry. You get mad so often you’ve forgotten what it’s like not to be angry. Anger is your best friend; maybe your only friend. It’s become just about the only feeling you have. Good-bye, happiness. So long, joy. Forget sadness and fear. What’s love got to do with it, anyhow? Anger, anger, and more anger, that’s what life is all about nowadays. You’re angry all the time.”

The book is divided into two main sections. In the first section, “Understanding the Problem”, readers explore the causes of their anger. Then, in the second section, “Taking Action”, they learn powerful, step-by-step strategies to alter their anger-provoking thoughts and regain control over their behavior. In addition, the book is divided into short segments related to specific anger topics.

Potter-Efron uses the image of a ladder to explain that anger can begin as something small, such as mild frustration and irritation. However, if left unchecked, it can grow slowly, until one day you’re so high up the ladder that you can’t simply jump off. You have to climb back down the same way you went up: one rung at a time. Here are the eleven rules to help you climb back down the ladder:

1. Take time-outs.
2. Wipe that frown off your face and relax.
3. Quit trying to control others.
4. Accept difference.
5. Ask, don't demand.
6. Reward, don't punish or threaten.
7. Speak quietly and don't swear.
8. Be responsible for everything you say and do.
9. Treat others with respect.
10. Tell others what bothers you. Be direct, specific, and polite.
11. Use "I" statements.

This book isn’t just for people who frequently lose their tempers; it’s also for their friends and loved ones. It’s very difficult to be close to a habitually angry person. Living with someone who is always angry can involve all of the following: being the brunt of endless criticism, having to put up with ridiculous temper tantrums, and even feeling afraid of being hurt. The partners of angry people need help too, and this book offers advice on how to create a plan to keep themselves safe and to protect their self-esteem.