Book Review of DO I HAFTA GROW UP?

Have you ever read a book that changed the way you look at every interaction and relationship in your life? I just did. The name of the book is “Do I Hafta Grow UP? The Adult Guide to Unfinished Business of Childhood,” written by Gary Robertson.

As a master practitioner in the healing arts, I find this information invaluable in dealing with clients, their issues and situations. Identifying where someone comes from developmentally is a very useful tool in assisting them in their healing process.
We have all seen books that blame our parents for everything in our lives from buck teeth to serial relationship failures. And then there are the ones that make things really incurable by saying men and women are from different planets (whose orbits never intersect, by the way) or forever mutually dependent. They may have some valuable insights, but this is one of those rare books that puts a whole lot of our life successes and failures together in one very understandable package.

Anyone can relate to the model in this book because we have been through what the author talks about. As he states it, the problem is we never finished our growing up process, so we continue to work the same issues over and over, trying to get them right. And the older we are, the further we get from where the difficulties originated.

There are chapters on where common problems like insecurity, feelings of abandonment, codependency, addictions, persistent, incessant power games, and unreasonable fear and anger arise. We need to do to finally resolve them so we can reap the benefits of finally being the grownups we always knew we wanted to be. Robertson’s model makes more sense when I look at what I am doing and how I feel every day as well as encounters with everyone I know. Knowing where others are coming from makes it so much easier to relate to them.

I just love the chapters later on where he puts the model to work, like to explain why there are so many meanings for the word “love.” And where he talks about what real grownups are like. I am not sure that I agree with him that about 15% of the adult population is actually grown up because I am not meeting more than a few.

This book may not be an easy read, but the author made it entertaining in an outrageous kind of way. Definitely it is a book that I will re-read multiple times because it is so content-rich. And I like that the material is entirely based on Robertson's real-life experiences and work with his clients. It certainly is not mainstream stuff and those who have a sacred cow or two may not find it all that agreeable.

Another thing I really like is that all the problems that are mentioned are not only completely curable, but have to be resolved before we can go on to be real grownup people. That is a very positive message! I read the Author’s Signature Edition, which has 350 pages, and contains case histories and examples. There is a Standard Edition just out that only has 175 pages and still gets the main message across. Both are available directly from http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=3757641

Oh, and I highly recommend everyone take one of his on-line tests. There is what he calls a Yes Test at http://doihaftagrowup.com/yestest.html or a longer one at http://doihaftagrowup.com/ebook. These tests are not just fun and informative, but something to have your friends and family do, if only to see how they score.