Can You Be Yourself At Work?

Who do you get to be every day at work? Can you be your authentic self or do you need to change your behavior to fit the expectations of your environment?

Oh sure, we all do change somewhat when we work. You dress in a particular way that perhaps is different from what you prefer, your language might be more formal and perhaps you are more serious. Small changes are easy to make but if your work environment requires you to make a dramatic change, it will be exhausting and stressful.

A client I worked with recently was doing project management work in a company. All of the people that she interacted with were researchers. She complained that they sat in their offices each day staring at their computers and rarely even said hello to her. It was appropriate behavior for people who were doing that type of work but a problem for my client. Part of her job was to have a conversation with some of them. It was a challenge for her to engage them.

My client was a friendly outgoing young woman with a lot of energy. Since most of the people in this company were researchers she found herself feeling squelched and frustrated. She enjoyed the work, found the work meaningful and could even see a role for herself continuing in this company if she wanted it but she hated what she felt was a non supportive environment. She was someone who wanted lots of interaction with others and she just wasn’t getting it. Curbing her genuine friendly self was tiring and depressing.

Another client recalled that he really enjoyed the loose casual environment he was in when he worked in a marketing division in his company. The environment he was in now was more rigid and formal. He felt he couldn’t be himself and that made the work really feel like work. He longed for a job that he enjoyed in a place that allowed him the freedom to be his authentic self.

You can be passionate about what you are doing and even be doing meaningful work but if you are doing it in an environment that doesn’t allow you to be your authentic self, you’ll never get to express your passion in the way that you want to. Understanding what is most important to you and what you need in your work- life can really help you to find the most satisfying and meaningful work situation.

Values are those feelings that we hold dear and that are most important to us. If your work environment doesn’t share your values you’ll feel cheated and sometimes even angry. My client valued creativity and found that creativity in the marketing department but not in his current situation. He managed to find an outlet for his creativity in his life outside work. Imagine how much easier it would be for him at work if he found it there too.

Understanding what you need is another way to approach this. If you are not getting your needs met, you’ll try to satisfy them somehow. You probably know someone who you call “needy” who is trying to get his/her needs met in an inappropriate way. If my client at the research company had made a pest of herself by trying to engage people who clearly wanted to be left to their research she might have satisfied her own need to interact but antagonized the researchers.

One way to gain understanding of yourself is through the DISC behavioral assessment which actually gives you a description of the environment in which you would be most comfortable. I offer this assessment in my practice.

Laura Berman Fortgang in her book, Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction says, “Career and life satisfaction stem less from what we choose to do for a living, and more from who we get to be every day while we are performing those tasks.” Who do you get to be at work?

Take Action:
1. Think about the work you do and the environment you do it in. What is most important to you about the work? About the environment? Make a list of those characteristics. If you are looking for a new job, this list will help you to determine your criteria. Notice where your current situation supports you.
2. Who do you get to be at work? Is it the person that you are? What needs to be different for you to be your authentic self? Can you do something about it?
3. Curious about the DISC behavioral assessment? I have a sample report that I would be happy to send you. Just send a blank email to asparker@asparker.com and use “Sample Report” as the subject.
4. Interested in finding out more about Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction? I’d be happy to send you my brochure and answer any questions you have. Send an email to asparker@asparker.com with “Brochure” as the subject. n