Can You Confess? And Why?

Can You Confess? And Why?

One day this week, I had a response to a blog about being honest with yourself in taking a personal inventory. It was great to get a response; it’s nice to know someone actually reads what I write. The response was about being a former Catholic and the real benefit she saw in the Catholic tradition of confession.
It is a great lead in for me in my personal review of some of the footprints that occurred years ago in my journey. 12 step programs call it step five, in the mentoring work I do with people affected by addictions, because of the method I use, the “admitting” or “sharing” portion is part of the 4th footprint my clients make.
With my inventory, I had admitted to myself and looked at what happened from birth to current. I then shared this information with my higher power in a period of reflection. But then, the hard part, I had to share with another human being. This was scary; I was going to tell another person the exact nature of my wrongs, the very secrets I was going to take to my grave.
I had an experienced and seasoned person hear my story. He listened, made a few comments as I went along and related as to how he had done several of the same things, and did not pass judgment. As a matter of fact, at times I think I was boring him!
I was truly relieved to have this stuff out in the open, and also shared a vast majority of things I had done, in general terms (please note general terms, not specifics) with my wife and partner. I had denied so many things to her. I had blatantly lied. In talking to her about my past, it helped her in recovering her own sanity. She was not nuts; I was just a convincing and repetitive liar.
After doing the inventory and admitting to my higher power, to myself, and to another human being, the weight of the garbage inside of me was lifted. I was prepared to do some real repair work.
From the point I carried out these actions to today, I have worked hard at being transparent and open to myself, my higher power, and a few trusted people (including my partner) in my life. I do not want to carry garbage with me any longer!
I’ve had the opportunity of being on the listening end quite often over the years. I listen, try to relate, try not to judge, probe with questions if there is a sign that not everything is being said, and I will admit, at times, I get a little bored.
From my own experience and the experience shared with me by others, we all think we are terminally unique and that our stories and actions will horrify others. From experience I can safely say there are a few acts that I know happen in the world that I didn’t do, nor did those I’ve listened to; but I have yet to hear anything that is terribly unique or shocking. I’m amazed at how similar people behave under like conditions and influences. We are unique in how, when, with whom or to whom, but we all travel the same road in our own way!!
Most of us on the receiving end who are experienced are shock proof!!
There is a cleansing in this type of confession. I personally do not need an intermediary to talk to my higher power through, but know some get comfort from Catholic confession. I try to keep my garbage cleared up as I go, and strive to be transparent in all matters to a few people I really trust. As best as humanly possible, I try to be honest in all of my affairs. While not yet perfect, I live comfortably in my own skin, and that is what the journey is about for me!!
While I truly feared doing the admitting part to another human being, I did it, and it was of great benefit to me!! And the person who listened to the detail remains close to me today! Will wonders never cease?
If you truly want a new and improved big life, you will find that even though you dread it, you can admit. Why? Once you have completed this process, why will be very clear!!