Christian Codependency: Four Things to Do to Stop Triangulating in Your Relationships

If you are looking for help with your Christian codependency, this article will help you by providing four things to do to stop triangulating in your relationships. You triangulate when you enter into a relationship dynamic between two other people in an attempt to fix the problem.
Here are some things you may do that are triangulating:
• Holding a resentment toward or punishing someone for what is done to another.
• Speaking for someone rather than letting the person speak for himself/herself.
• Jumping into a problem between two people to try to resolve it during the actual conflict.
• Appealing to someone on behalf of another person to convince them to think or act a certain way.
Here are some real-life examples:
• Entering into an argument between your spouse and child to influence your spouse to handle the conflict a different way.
• Calling your mother to tell her how your sister feels about something.
• Talking to your sister about letting her child do a particular activity because the child called you and asked you to talk to her.
• Punishing your brother-in-law by not including him in activities at your home because your brother isn't getting along with him.
When you enter into the relationship between two people, you take on extra trouble for yourself and prevent them from working on their relationship. Proverbs 26:17 says, "Like one who seizes a dog by the ears is a passer-by who meddles in a quarrel not his own" (NIV). You can work on your Christian codependency by recognizing that God doesn't expect you to do for other people what they should do for themselves: speak for themselves and resolve their own relationship problems.