Clearing the Rocks in Your Head

I am blessed to live on a beautiful acre of land in New York’s Hudson Valley. We are surrounded by trees, within sight of a small lake, and grow tomatoes, beans, and a few other select vegetables each summer. But mostly what I feel like we harvest around here are rocks.

Every time we turn the soil for planting, or as happened last summer when our lawn was pillaged during a septic system repair, stones of varying sizes erupt on the surface of the land. In clearing the massive crop from that mess, I was amazed again how many there were, continuously heaving themselves up from deep below.

Over the years of working the patches where we grow annuals and vegetables, though, I have noticed a change. I can see that, in the places where the ground is worked each year and we are taking pains to clear, nourish, and develop it for desired growth, the stones show up less and less. And the ones that do show up are smaller and smaller.

How Congested is Your Mental Garden?

Finding your way to greater peace and clarity is a bit like that. You have to develop your skill at weeding out the big rocks and paying less attention to the small ones.

What are some of the biggest mental boulders that get in your way? It’s all too easy to get weighed down, both by exte
als:

· your talkative sister-in-law who never seems to pay attention to the fact that you’re not paying attention.

· the friend who insists on bringing you cookies, even though you’ve explained over and over again that you don’t eat wheat any more.

· the sheer overabundance of stuff that wears you out every time you think about your bedroom closet or attic.

And by the internal rocks that pile up when you’re not looking:

· the feeling that something is missing or not quite right, even though life is generally going along “just fine.”

· the recognition that gravity gets heavier as you get older, and that your tush starting to resemble the couch cushion.

· a need to shake things up a bit that somehow always gets filed away under “later.”
How do we remove those big mental rocks, and feel less annoyed by the little ones that remain strewn across our mental field? By engaging in the cultivation of loving-kindness and gratitude.

Here’s The Secret: Love Everything, Even When You Can’t Stand It

One of the best ways I know to soften and melt those big rocks of pain and frustration down to little pebbles is through the practice of loving-kindness meditation. By sending wishes of well-being to ourselves and others, we use our conscious attention like water working away at stone. Over time, blessings of love and compassion will bring softness and space to hard, darkened corners of our mind and spirit.

Loving-kindness consists of a series of phrases that we say silently to ourselves once we have settled into a comfortable, centered posture and taken a few full, deep breaths. Some classic phrases are as follows:
May I be safe. May I be happy. May I be healthy. May I live with ease.

We begin always with ourselves, saying the phrases for our own wellbeing before moving on to offering them to others. Often we are the ones who most need our compassionate acceptance, so I suggest that you work here for as long as it takes to feel a true sense of relief and sweetness.

A Challenge

Take at least five minutes each day for the next week to offer loving-kindness to yourself -- offer them to loved ones and difficult ones when you feel ready or have more time. Soak the hardened places with love, and see for yourself what else might grow. And please share any questions or insights with me at sharon@heartofselfcare.com so we can wrestle or celebrate together.