Coaching the vocation of mid-life

Coaching the vocation of mid-lifenby Milt Bullard - CorrespondentnPosted on October 21, 2005 http://www.brentwoodpress.com/html/bwdhome.htm

Since moving here last July, one thing Craig Nathanson has noticed is “the 10,000 people commuting out of Brentwood down Vasco Road to miserable jobs.” It reminds him, he adds, of his own life “four years ago, when I left corporate America after 25 years.”

Calling himself “the vocational coach,” a trademark he instituted when he started his new business, Nathanson, 49, explains that he helps adults in their mid-lives “discover and live their vocational passions. I’m not a traditional career counselor. I help people understand how to align their abilities and interests. I give them the momentum that they need. My goal is to help people discover what they are really passionate about doing, and then be able to make the money they need doing it.”

To this end, Nathanson works with individual clients from four different countries and throughout the United States in weekly sessions, typically lasting from three to six months. Most of those he coaches are in their 40s, and a majority are women.

Reflecting the results of the research he’s been conducting for his doctoral thesis over the past dozen years, Nathanson has found that “what happens to people in their 40s is they come to the point of realizing it’s time to rediscover themselves. What we do defines what we are. When people are over 40, they want fulfillment. Many of us don’t ask if what we’re doing has value until that age. Society tends to ignore people over 40, and retirement is for people who don’t love what they do.”

Noting that most of those who seek his services “are coming out of some tragedy - illness, being laid off, divorced - Nathanson attributes to the latter and to newly empty nests the preponderance of women he coaches. The author of the book “P is for Perfect,” published in Canada through a former client, Nathanson begins each coaching assignment with a 100-question assessment, “helping one look at one’s whole life, the work in relation to other life aspects.”

Although Nathanson speaks throughout the country, his clients come to him mostly through referrals. He regularly travels to Russia where, in his view, “people don’t make any connections between joy and work.” Attributing his coaching skills to his academic research, corporate background, and personal experience, Nathanson says “at the end of the day, I’m just the fellow who helps people find themselves.”

Nathanson was born, and grew up, in San Francisco in, he remembers, a 300-square-foot apartment with his mom. They were poor enough, he recalls, to have to invent his own toys. He attended both San Francisco State and USF, earning two master’s degrees, one in telecommunications from Golden Gate University, and the other in human development from the Fielding Graduate Institute.

In his pre-coaching days, Nathanson was a senior manager for Intel as well as one of the founders of an internet e-commerce company. With his wife and daughter and two sons, and as dictated by the job, he moved back and forth from Danville and Sacramento. Of his years as a corporate executive, Nathanson’s assessment is: “I was good at it, but I was not liking it.” And so, effectively his own first client, he changed his life.

Now in the process of finalizing a divorce, Nathanson admits, “I’m living more of my research than I ever expected to. I walked away from the six-figure income. I gave up the fancy cars, and traded the 4,000-square foot mansion for a 400-square-foot apartment.” He also found himself with a prostate tumor, fortunately benign; used up his retirement funds; went through bankruptcy; and helped his middle son confront and combat a serious illness.

The lesson, Nathanson believes, is that “you must follow your heart. The world would be a better place if we all did what we love.” As an example, he cites “the new generation, the 18-to-25-year-olds” who, he finds, “really want a balanced lifestyle.” And Nathanson suspects that “when they reach their 40s, we’re going to see a real paradigm switch.” n

Craig Nathanson is the author of P Is For Perfect: Your Perfect Vocational Day and a coaching expert who works with people in mid-life. Craig’s systematic approach, the trademark "Ten P" model, helps people break free and move toward the work they love. Visit Craig’s online community at www.thevocationalcoach.com where you can sign for a class, private coaching, or group coaching. Or, you may read other stories of mid-life change and renewal.