Custody Battle Myth #1: Parents can help their children by “insulating” them from the divorce.

This is the first of eight myths voiced by fictional parents David and Laura Sherwood at the outset of the short film "Talk to Strangers." The Sherwoods rely upon the myths to explain to an offscreen filmmaker why they are about to subject their two children, twelve-year-old Emily and nine-year-old Nicholas to a custody battle. “We do a pretty good job of insulating our kids,” says Laura, confident that she and David can control the custody case’s impact upon their kids.

Shielding children from the antagonisms of divorce, and trying to insulate them from the divorce altogether, are two very different things. It’s impossible to “insulate” children from divorce, especially contested custody or access cases that preoccupy both parents and children. And even if it were possible, children don’t need or want it.
Parents who feel they are helping their children by refusing to discuss the divorce, are not only attempting the impossible. They are also adding to the children’s anxiety by ignoring their desperate desire to know where and with whom they will be living.

There is a middle ground where parents share agreed-upon general statements of the progress of the divorce without unnecessary detail or accusations of blame. Parents seeking that middle ground are working toward a goal that is both attainable and in the children’s best interest. It’s not always easy to get there, but it’s well worth the effort. childcustodyfilm.com