Decisions: Can Developmental Trauma Make It Hard For Someone To Make Decisions?

If someone was to take a step back and reflect on their life, what they may find is that they find it hard to make decisions. Therefore, when it comes to deciding what to do, their mind could go blank.

By being this way, it is likely to be a challenge for them to move forward in a number of areas of their life. As a result, it could be as though they are standing still, whilst so many others are steaming ahead.

One Approach

One thing they may do, to work out what they should do, is to weigh up the options that are available. Once they have done this, they may end up going with the one that seems to be the best option.

However, just because something seems to be the best option, it doesn’t mean that it will be. Consequently, they could end up doing something that is not really right for them and end up suffering.

A Slow Process

Another issue with this approach is that it could take them a very long time to work out what is the right option. So, at times, once they have weighed everything up, the opportunity may have passed.

At other times, this won’t be the case, so they will have plenty of time to make a decision. But no matter how much time they have to do this, they could find that they rarely have enough time.

Another Approach

If they don’t focus on weighing up all the options that are available, they could end up looking to others. They could ask a friend or a family member, for instance, about what they would do and end up going along with what they suggest.

This will make it easier for them to make a decision but it is unlikely to allow them to make the right decision for them. Even if this person knows them very well, they are not always going to know what is best for them.

One More

If they don’t weigh things up or ask a friend/family member, they could end up being forced into making a decision. They simply might not have time do any of the above or they may have already done this but time may have run out.

Due to this, they could end up choosing something that is not right for them or they may choose something that is right. Yet, in general, the former, as opposed to the latter, could occur.

One Big Struggle

So, in addition to not being able to make a lot of progress in life, they are also likely to experience a fair amount of frustration. There will be frustration and anger when it comes to not being able to move forward and frustration and anger around not being able to easily make decisions.

They are likely to wonder why they are like this and why they can’t make decisions easily like so many others. At this point, it could be as if there is something inherently wrong with them and they could feel very low and helpless.

A Closer Look

If they were to think about how long they have been this way, they may find that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. But, perhaps when they were younger and there was less pressure on them to make decisions, this wasn’t as noticeable.

What this may illustrate is that they are this way due to what took place during their formative years. The cause of what is going on will then be so far back in time that they are unable to join the dots, so to speak.

Way Back

Another part of this is that their brain is also likely to have blocked out what took place in order to protect them. Something that would have automatically taken place will then prevent them from accessing the information that would shed light on why they are this way

This stage of their life may have been a time when they were deeply traumatised and ended up disconnecting from themselves, which would have caused them to lose touch with their feelings and needs. When they were an infant and then a toddler, and perhaps as the years went by, they may have often been neglected and when they were given care, it may have been misattuned care.

A Natural Outcome

Therefore, they would have been overwhelmed during this stage of their life and going into a shut down, frozen state was their only way to survive. Losing touch with their feelings would have protected them but now that they are an adult, it will cause them to suffer unnecessarily.

Ultimately, they need to be connected to their emotional self to be able to make decisions. This part of them will supply them with the information that they need to know what to do and what is right for them.

Deprived

Without this information, they will be over-reliant on a part of them that is not equipped to tell them what to do and what is right for them. It will be similar to expecting a screwdriver to cut a piece of wood.

The difference is that, in this case, it will be clear that this is not possible. On the other hand, when one looks towards their intellect to tell them what to do and what is right for them, they won’t realise this is not its function if this is all they have ever known and they are in an emotionally repressed state.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for exte
al support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.