Did You Know That It is Integration That You Are After?

If you are anything like me, you probably have done a lot of “healing” work on your self. A few years ago, I was introduced to the concept of “integration”. I was invited to think in terms of integration instead of in terms of healing. It made a lot of sense to me, and brought profound changes in my life. I will share with you in this article how and why you can benefit from this mind shift. Healing connotes that there is something that needs fixing, and that something is wrong with you. The truth that I have found is, as long as you think that you need healing, you think of yourself in terms of “broken-ness”, and “something’s-wrong-with-me-ness.” To integrate, on the other hand, means that you simply need to digest something you haven’t fully digested yet. Digestion happens all day and night long, all our life. It’s a natural and required process for us to be able to live. The same is true for integration. It’s a natural process, which is required for us to grow. Nobody talks about this in today’s society. Trauma is a taboo. That’s why almost nobody talks about how to really deal with it. As for myself, even though some people might refer to me a healer, and to my work as healing work, I actually see it quite differently. I always get suspicious when people call themselves healers, because to me, being able to support individuals in their growth process requires first and foremost an ability to see them as they are. Which is as a being that is whole, not broken, a being in need of digesting certain things. If I call myself a healer, right there I am saying I have something you lack, a wholeness that you don’t have. It strongly implies that I can do something for you that you can’t do for yourself. The truth is, nobody else can integrate your stuff. Only you can integrate, what you need to integrate. You have to do your own work. And you are very capable of doing your own work. If you stay within the healing paradigm, you give up some of your own response-ability, because you think somebody outside of yourself can do your work for you. Nobody else can eat or drink and nourish your body for you. Nobody can nourish your soul but you. When you give up both the need and the thought that you can get back to the way you were, which is what healing implies, only then are you ready for integration. Integration can occur once you are ready to be where you are with all that you have experienced. Your choices and your reactions aren’t based on the past anymore but on the present. When you have integrated your “bad” experiences, you are free to make new choices. You know that integration has occurred when things that used to scare you don’t scare you any more. When things that were difficult and upsetting, like being intimate with your man, aren’t difficult anymore. When saying no when you mean no and yes when you mean yes is what you naturally do. You know you have integrated your shit when you can talk about your story with out being upset by it, or feeling like your story determines who you are. All of the tools and concepts I share on this site, through in person work or through my upcoming book “Blossom A Seven Step Journey. Heal Early Sexual Trauma and Create a Trust-filled and Deeply-connected Relationship with Your Man”are geared towards helping you achieve integration and freedom from emotional slavery. To get the first chapter of Blossom for free click here.