Divorce to Remarriage: What Happens When You Rush to Wed The Second Time Around

50% of first marriages end in divorce. 75% of those divorcees will remarry. At least 60% of those remarriages will end in a re-divorce. Sobering statistics aren't they? But why are they this high? 50% of first marriages end in divorce I'm not even going to make a guess at the reason for this. There are interpersonal, cultural, societal, financial and many other reasons why this could be. I'll leave it up to the academic researchers to sort this one out. 75% of those divorcees will remarry I was shocked the first time I heard this. But people are getting divorced younger and younger. Why not get married again? The problem lies in getting remarried too soon. Men are more to blame for this one. They typically remarry within 1 year. Women will usually wait a little longer. Neither group waits long enough. Going back to the research - it shows that remarriages have the greatest chance for success when the divorced member(s) wait at least 2 years after their divorce is final to begin dating; and then the couple dates for another 2 years! So we're talking a total of 4 years post-divorce here. Hardly anyone does this. At least 60% of those remarriages will end in a re-divorce. Does this make a little more sense now? How many remarried couples do you know of who waited 4 years until they remarried? My guess is you're like me and you're answer is "not very many." The problem is that people rush into a new relationship when they are still reeling from their divorce. They feel "loved" again and want the security of a marriage when they are not ready individually and the relationship isn't ready because it's still immature. Then you throw the craziness of trying to put a step family together on this already weak foundation and things typically will crumble within months. So...why rush? Does it feel nice to be loved by someone? Sure it does! Does that mean you have to rush to the altar? No! If it is a solid and real love it will last through time. You need to take time during those first 2 years after your divorce to become comfortable with being single. Those next 2 years are meant to give you and your new partner time to decide if this is just a traditional relationship that's nice for a time but won't last or if it is something you can build a life and a family around. Give yourself that gift of growth into singlehood. Give yourself the gift of time to create a marriage that will last.