Enough Can Be More

Our nation’s economy is burning and many of our dreams are going up in smoke. But are they? We live in a time when the relentless pursuit of society’s definition of success is blow-torching our happiness. Our peace. This always happens when we adopt goals that are thrust upon us. For years the media has programmed us with discontent. They have sold us the illusions that an endless spending spree is non-stop happiness. Most of us bought. Now we all have to pay. Bad things are beginning to happen now to lots of hard working people who didn’t participate in the sub prime insanity or haven’t abused their credit. But prices are rising and income is falling

This is all real. I know. I went broke during the last major inflationary recession in 1977. The bank that was financing my surf-wear business decided it was only going to loan to triple A borrowers. I was 26. My business was two years old and growing like a house on fire. It didn’t matter to my banker. He shut down my credit lines and called the loan. He didn’t even want a workout. It was easier for the bank to get what they could and write off the rest. It’s called a credit squeeze. It squeezed my neck until I passed out. I had to close my business and sell my house to pay off taxes and creditors. I had a wife and two small children. I had no job or house. There were nights when I felt so much stress I felt my head was going to explode with a blood-red mushroom cloud.

One night as I was driving over to see my brother, it suddenly occurred to me. “I don’t have to suffer like this. I just need to dismiss these ferocious, man-eating thoughts and think about what I am grateful for. I don’t have to feed myself anger and regret, and instead I can imagine ways to create new opportunities from my recent experience.” It was the first time I became conscious I could actually control my own thoughts. I could choose to think what I wanted to think about. Then a feeling like soaking my face in a warm washcloth came over me. If I choose my thoughts, I choose my feelings. I don’t have to feel bad. Or afraid. Maybe all that’s obvious. It wasn’t to me. Not in that time of intense feelings of failure.

Virtually all the “Wisdom Literature” of human history agrees on the essential purpose of life. It is to give love and receive it. Now brain research confirms that when we feel love or give service, we feel content, happy, and satisfied. Our immune system is stronger, our blood pressure lower. Yes, eating healthy and exercising is good for us, but the real multi-vitamin is love. Big love. Active love. The noted psychologist Alfred Adler claimed that most people could be cured of their depression in 14 days if they “try to think every day how you can please someone.” I’m not suggesting that serving others can cure all clinical depression. But I am saying that continuous loving acts of service from reading to children to helping shovel a widow’s walk can chase our own blues away.

The relentless message of our time is that “success will bring us happiness.” Wait, won’t it? No. The most we can expect from success are brief flings of satisfaction. Or in some cases relief from not failing. But enduring happiness? No. Success arises from setting and achieving challenging goals. Focus, discipline, persistence, and action are the timeless tools of success. Happiness on the other hand, is different. While we achieve success, happiness is experienced. Happiness arises from feelings of gratitude for our lives, our family, our friends, our opportunities, and our experiences and fills us with feelings of contentment. If we feel gratitude consistently, we feel enduring satisfaction.

So stop. Why not use this time to redefine success as our deep soul-chosen goals. Take time to consider what material enoughness is for each of us so we can be better acquainted with the spiritual abundance that surrounds us. We need to honor our honest responsibilities but also need to face the facts of our lives. If we feel trapped, over-worked, exhausted and discouraged from working so damn hard at things that have no meaning, it’s time to intensely re-connect with the people and activities that give us wisdom, creativity and energy.

We are entering a time of purging. A time to eliminate all the distractions that are poisoning our happiness. A time to travel lighter and love bigger. Amidst the rubble, we will find wild flowers of hope growing there just for us. All we have to do is look.