Finding Greatness At My Class Reuinion

Recently I attended my high school class reunion. Back in high school there were groups,njust as there are in most high schools today. I was on the fringes of the group thatnincluded most of the popular kids. I was shy and didn't really feel a part of that group.
When I think about it, it wasn't that people excluded me. I excluded myself. I didn't feelnconfident in what I had to offer. I couldn't see the greatness that was beginning to grow in me.

At my reunion there were just people. There were no groups to join. I felt welcomed by everyone and I felt very welcoming toward everyone. There were no cliques, no divisions between popular and those who were not. I am grateful to my classmates for a wonderful accomplishment that we all shared -- we grew up. With maturity comes acceptance -- acceptance of self and acceptance of others. If I were to take a snapshot of my reunion, that picture would serve as a standard for what the world could aspire to -- people from all walks of life, sharing their experiences, genuinely interested in each others' lives to date, and caring.

This is not the world we live in, of course. We live in a world where separation and exclusion are the norm. Certainly groups of people exclude others, yet mostly, we exclude ourselves. We live in a society that worships fame and famous people. We think movie stars, political figures, and television personalities are special, yet they are not. They are just people. The illusio
I suffered under in high school is the same one most of the world suffers under today: people think greatness is out there in other people. So we seek to be around the "stars", to talk about them and read about them, and to be like them. Or, we resent and criticize them.

People exclude others out of fear. We exclude ourselves from fear -- fear of success, fear of failure, and fear that we will embarrass ourselves because we believe we cannot live up to the level of greatness we perceive in others. People run from the responsibility of being great. Being great means people expect something from you.

We constantly seek greatness in some form, approval, fame, money, status, or being right. We seem unaware of a truth from Walt Whitman, "Henceforth I ask not good fortune. I myself am good fortune." I am good fortune. You are good fortune. The people I re-met at my reunion were each good fortune. To me, each one was a success in his/her own rite. Some were retired; some were involved in their work; some like me, have become parents again. I don't know who had the most money. I don't know who had the most accomplishments. I do know that each person I talked to had found ways to express their gifts and talents to the world.

My greatness is about helping others to discover their greatness through my books, classes, speaking, and coaching. At my reunion there were great entrepreneurs, great teachers, great parents, great grandparents, and more. My desire for my classmates, and for all of you, is that you would develop and express your own talents at increasingly higher levels. Be great and be bold about it. Don't look to the "stars" for greatness -- look within yourself. Do a little less self criticizing and a little more appreciating what you have done well. Appreciate the greatness in the people around you. Speak to that greatness by focusing on what you appreciate about them rather than focusing on their imperfections. If you must correct or reprimand someone, build upon their strengths. Express your confidence in their ability to succeed, to improve, to do well. People will either live up to or down to your expectations. That being the case, make your expectations high.

In the movie, The Devil Wears Prada, the arrogant and famous main character played by Meryl Streep states: "Everyone wants to be us." Thousands of people want to be an "American Idol". An idol is an object of worship. The media tells us we should worship the stars and try to be like them. In truth, no one is special, yet everyone is unique. No one is luckier than you. Rather than admire or resent greatness in others, why not aspire to be your best self? You are the star of your own life and part of the supporting cast for family, friends, and others. Walk into a room like you own it. Speak to others as if they are incredible people, regardless of how they appear. Never slump or slouch in public. Smile at people. People are attracted to confidence and joy. Find yours and express it.

You need not exclude yourself in venues where accomplished people gather as I did to myself in high school. No one is better than you or less than you. Don't strive to be someone or something. Simply be the best you. Give of yourself to your family and your work. You are already great. True greatness is expressed by forgetting about what you are getting from others and focusing on what you are giving to others. What impact are you having on the lives of other people right now?

I leave you with this quote from George Be
ard Shaw: “This is the true joy in life … being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one … being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy … I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the whole community and as long as I live it is my privilege to do for it whatever I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die. For the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It’s a sort of splendid torch which I’ve got to hold up for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing on to future generations.”

Thank you to the Class of 67 from Lincoln Park High School, Lincoln Park, Michigan, USA, for the great people you have become.