From Enrage to Outrage to Courage

ENRAGE

I used to deny having a temper and grinned and bore all manner of indignities. Then I realized that I was doing to my temper what had been done to me in childhood. I judged my temper as bad, beat it down, and ignored it as unworthy. Disregarded, temper becomes anger. Untended anger escalates to rage. Repressed, unconscious rage becomes hardened as enrage. Although buried within, rage can suddenly leap up and singe the someone who triggers it. The someone who triggers the rage might or might not have actually “done something,” however, the someone is not the real cause of the rage.

OUTRAGE

When I first began to acknowledge my temper (there it was, an ever ready low flame that could erupt unexpectedly) I learned that denying the temper made me sick and undermined my full expression. I began to express my temper. Because by this time my temper was often rageful, my expression was unskillful and therefore puzzling or scary to others. However, even an awkward expression was better for everyone than stuffing it. After a while I became more skillful and effective at articulating my temper (a barometer for my feelings and needs) and upped my chances of getting my true needs met.

COURAGE

When my friend Rev. Hasifa Rahman pointed out the suffix “rage” in courage, I realized that my temper didn’t have to be done away with and that it could be integrated and transformed into creative energy and passion. The prefix “cours” means heart. Courage is the commitment to look into my own heart for the source of my rage rather than projecting it onto others.

When I looked into my heart, I saw an energetic, powerful, brilliant being. She said “see me, listen to me, I am alive, and I am well.” I am the Rage Child.

OUTTING THE RAGE CHILD

Although I had conspired to keep the vital, enthusiastic, unique force within me hid away as inappropriate, troublesome, demanding, and bad, I learned that the rage child is, in actuality, the source of my joy, and the source of my power. She is the source of everything authentic and wise within me. She is a spirit guide whose counsel is unadulterated and pure.

To out the Rage Child, I created several images of her and at significant crossroads, I ask the rage child to speak to me. She said:

I am old, I am ancient. You were born with me full and intact. Your power scares people who are out of touch with their own power and they project what they are afraid of onto you. You want to be loved and compromise your true self by acting as if you are not powerful and minimize your gifts. You are called to heal yourself and others. All illness is inverted, subverted power.

IMAGE YOUR RAGE CHILD

If you would like to create a rage child as a symbol of the vital, energetic force you suppress, consider the following materials:

• Pastels: they approximate the crayons we used as children.
• Paints—use inexpensive tempera or gouache because they are opaque like the paints used by children.

Embracing the rage child with compassion is a crucial means to joy.

For more information and guidance about creating your rage child, call me at 718.398.4616.