Get Tough(minded): Use the Power of Optimism to Activate Your Success

In his book, The Power of Optimism, author Alan Loy McGinnis uses the phrase “tough-minded optimist” to talk about the mental and emotional strength that optimism requires. That’s just spot on. “Tough mindedness” is a great way to describe the grit and mental stamina it takes to resist feelings and choose to see a bad situation through a positive, high expectation lens.

Then there’s this byte of encouragement from Teddy Roosevelt, 26th President of the United States: “The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again…who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly.”

Roosevelt was talking about persistence, no question. But between the lines there’s something more: he was also hinting that history will not remember the people who just throw themselves into the arena again and again, unprepared and vulnerable because they haven’t learned anything from past mistakes, but rather those who learn from the dust and sweat and grow from their experiences, changing their approach for the next time…and the next. In the world of work, persistence is essential, but by itself, it’s not enough for success. It won’t help you to just keep showing up, without growing in knowledge and skill. Ditto optimism. It’s great to have high expectations, but success isn’t going to chase you simply because you expect it to.

FRESH AND READY
To dare greatly is to expect the best and to persist, but also to evolve. That’s being tough minded: learning from past experiences (Which strategies worked best? What do past successes tell you about your strengths? What resources and people helped most? Who can open new doors for you next time?), standing up again, dusting yourself off if need be, and heading back into the arena (meeting, sales month, tough conversation) newly prepared, fresh and ready.

We’d like to linger on the topic of daring greatly, a habit essential for any breakthrough and a source of passion for us personally. We’ve seen too many talented people with so much to offer get tripped up by their expectation of a smooth and easy path to success.

They’re easily discouraged by obstacles, unwilling to push past even the first or second disappointment they experience in their quest to reach a goal. Instead, they accept setbacks as some type of cosmic signal that they should stop, no matter how important the dream or breakthrough is to them. This easy frustration leads them to give up on a quest long before they’ve given it all they’ve got.

They may believe persistence alone is enough, that if they show up every day and keep plugging away, eventually the dream will be within reach. But it’s been a long time since the business world rewarded us for simply showing up and doing our jobs. Whether you’re self-employed or work for a company, the bar on what’s considered excellent performance keeps rising. Competition for every position, project, and contract intensifies every year, and all our jobs demand much more than just persistence. Mere dependability and truly breakthrough performance are miles apart.

They miss the partial solution. After a grueling year looking for a new job, John finally gets an offer that would put him in a higher league with greater long-term potential. But as he stares at the disappointing salary letter, he thinks, “I can’t accept that job for less than a 20 percent raise! It doesn’t matter how great the long-term potential is. I’m not taking less that I deserve! I’ll wait until something better comes along.” It’s not the perfect solution, but it offers potential that sure beats staying put.

They don’t recognize interim successes. Consider the too-proud salesperson who misses an opportunity to build a highly leveragable relationship with a global company because the initial order is modest: “I don’t care that this order will get me in the door at this company. It’s too small for me to waste my time on it.”

They’re too sensitive. “I worked on that report for a month, and when I presented it, they said it had some merit—just some. I felt like they gave me a C+. That’s the last time I make a suggestion to that group.”

They generalize a setback, using disempowering self-talk that makes the setback sound (and feel) like a permanent condition:
• “This always happens when I try something new.”
• “I’m just never going to work well on a team.”
• “I never get my facts straight.”
• “I’m constantly messing up.”
• “I am just not a leader.”

They use “Why me?” self-talk: “Why me? I’ve always worked so hard/gone the extra mile/been friendly and accommodating! And why did this have to happen now? I just bought/sold the house, started/left the job, bought/sold the business, had the baby, took the loan…?”

If you start reacting to a setback in any of these ways, stop. The moment you hear yourself say, “I blew it again,” “I don’t understand why this happens to me all the time,” “I can’t” or “That’s it! I’m done trying,” zip it! Stop talking, and get your feet moving—anywhere. Go out for a head-clearing walk or drive, get involved in an activity, call your Mom. Do whatever you can to break this train of thought because it will only take you down, down, down. Nothing positive will come of it.

So you didn’t get the assignment, promotion, raise, or the credit you deserve. Take time for some healthy venting. Then, get constructive—fast—by asking yourself what we call The Good Questions, five simple prompts we created to give you positive, future-focused and action-based answers:

1. “What did I do right (there’s always something!)?”

2. “What did I learn? How can I apply this in the future?”

3. “What would have been the best possible outcome in a situation like this?”

4. “How can I work to bring that about next time?”

5. “What small step can I take right now to begin setting this in motion?”

GET MOVING!
Use your answers to channel your energy into constructive action:

• A phone call to build a bridge that reconnects you with someone you’ve argued with.

• The healthy audacity to explore a brand new sales territory no one on the team has even thought of.

• A job search down new, exciting avenues you never would have explored if you weren’t holding that pink slip in your hand.

• Your hand raised to volunteer for a project when the last one you ran, which was roundly criticized as a waste of money, taught you how to manage expenses better.

• Admitting that your company is on the brink because you started to ignore your loyal customers...and gathering the courage to ask these customers to come back.

• Going back to the boss who shut you down three times with a fourth idea that reflects her feedback on the previous three.

• Acting with confidence that a key employee’s resignation will enable you to find someone even more qualified to fill her position.