Got Stress?

Do you have a monkey mind that has run amok? Is there lots of chatter ricocheting around your cranium? Is there so much clamor and inte
al conversation that it’s standing room only in your head? Like the deli counter, do you need to take a number to disce
which inner voice has taken over ...

Do you have a monkey mind that has run amok? Is there lots of chatter ricocheting around your cranium? Is there so much clamor and inte
al conversation that it’s standing room only in your head? Like the deli counter, do you need to take a number to disce
which inner voice has taken over the microphone?

It’s hard being a mental being -- all those woulda, coulda, shoulda’s, all that plotting and planning, dissecting agendas and scouting out hidden agendas and subtexts.

We live in the past, fretting over symbolic spilt milk. We live in the future, doubled over with anxiety at the possibility of the worst case scenario or the great cosmic shoe dropping onto our head. We can often be our very own, idiosyncratic version of Chicken Little crying, “The sky is falling, the sky is falling.” We are so busy looking backwards and forwards, we don’t see the hole in front of us, and we get twisted up, knotted and very stressed.

Stress and stress-related illnesses are at an all-time high. Dr. C. Norman Shealy, M.D., Ph.D., founder of the American Holistic Medical Association, defines stress as “the total physical, chemical, and emotional pressure you experience.” In other words, every thing counts as a potential stress factor, be it the food you eat, the air you breathe, the exercise you do or don’t get and your perception of reality.

As a psychologist, I am particularly drawn to that perception-of-reality bit, because this is where the light can get tricky.

Someone wise once said that reality is what we perceive. I believe that to be true. There are days when we are like ducks in the rain, all the water rolls off our backs. No worries, no fears, all those rain drops just join the pond water; and, as the duck, I merely shake off my tail feathers, and I am good to go.

Then, there are other days when I am anything like a duck happily skimming the surface of the water. On those other days, I can step into a huge puddle and my shoes and pant’s leg get saturated, or my car battery acts fussy, or my umbrella has gone MIA, and I arrive at the big meeting drenched and dripping.

In my field of psychology, there is a certain inventory measurement that asks patients to rank life events, such as a move, job change, loss of a spouse, financial worries and the like, over a two year period. The rankings are numerically weighted. The end result of this inventory is to provide a stress assessment. Stress is cumulative and, for some, their two year inventory of stress makes the Book of Job look like a musical comedy.

Most of us don’t need a stress assessment to tell us we are stressed. However, we might need someone to remind us that we are very stressed. We go and go and go. We don’t eat well; we are sleep deprived, and the job or the family or life-in-general seems to demand more and more of our time and energy. Faster and faster become the norm. We even forget to breathe and blink.

Stress is a given in today’s fast-paced, over-achieving, information-overloaded and increasingly technical world. We all have it; we all know it. So, what are we to do?

Relax, right? Relaxation is the antidote to stress. Relaxation allows us to recalibrate, take a deep breath or two and refind our feet.

We often forget to get grounded in our bodies when we are stressed. We are so busy running the tape in our heads that we dismiss the rest of our being. We are operating from the shoulders up; it’s as if we are truncated at the neck.

Some people cannot eat when they are stressed; others eat compulsively and quickly to stuff the burgeoning feelings. Some cannot sit still; others cannot sleep. Some get so overwhelmed they make napping an Olympic event.

Whether we are in constant movement or unable to take a step, when we leave our bodies, we choose on some level of consciousness or unconsciousness not to feel the deeper, truer feelings that exist beneath the surface of stress.

Herewith are a few of my favorite coping mechanisms for stress. May you find them of benefit:

1. Laugh or cry.
I know this sounds simplistic, but both laughter and crying are two of the foremost stress relievers. They are like steam vents that allow the bottled up energy and emotions to release.

2. Investigate www.heartmath.org.
This organization is founded on scholarship and research. They have proven techniques to decrease anger, transform stress and to make your life more balanced. I find these folks to be totally cutting edge and have been a fan for many years.

3. Lifestyle choicesr
When we are stressed, our good habits often get waylaid with the urgency of the situation. It serves us well to reconsider some of our choices, especially as mind, body and spirit are connected.

a. Increase your vitamins.
When we are emotionally vulnerable, we are also physically vulnerable. Both vitamin C and a vitamin B complex (I recommend the capsules vs. the smellier tablets) are known to help combat the effects of stress.

b. Exercise
As well know, this is another well-known and well-documented stress reliever. However, it doesn’t hurt to remind you.

c. Get to bed before midnightr
This will help the rhythms of your adrenal (aka “fight or flight” response) glands.

d. Eat decent foodr
When stressed, the simple carbs taste great and can soothe the soul, but think about some decent protein and veggies. If you have goodies, eat them after the meal, your blood sugar will be better regulated than eating simple sugars as your sole food group.

4. Express yourself.
Jou
al, share with a friend; talk to your dog. Do whatever it takes to makes you comfortable to stop, sit and allow the suppressed feelings to surface.

5. Relaxation Practice
The aforementioned Dr. Shealy along with Harvard mind-body researcher Herbert Benson, author of The Relaxation Response, believe in relaxation. And by relaxation, they are talking about allowing the mind and body to still, be it meditating, prayer, looking at a piece of art, being in nature or listening to soothing music.

Shealy reports that two 20-minute segments of relaxation a day will decrease your body’s stress response by 50%. Start with 5-10 minutes twice a day and notice what happens; it really does make a difference.

6. Meditate
M-m-meditate? Yes, we can all do it. There is a style and form for everyone. The hardest part is showing up. • The practitioners of Transcendental Meditation (TM), www.tm.org, have a mantra, a special word or phrase that was gifted to them. They repeat this word over and over again with each in and out breath. In the 70’s, TM was affordable, these days I am told it is pricey, like $2500. However, the take-away for you is to know that repeating a word continuously can move you into an altered state of deep relaxation and awareness. • Father Thomas Keating, who gave us “Centering Prayer,” suggests a prayerful phrase for a similar effect. They are detailed instructions at www.thecentering.org. • Others suggest counting repeatedly to a count of 4 or 8: 1 in-breath, 2 out-breath, 3 in-breath, 4 out-breath. • Personally, I can still have parallel thoughts going on with the counting. What works for me is being focused on my breath, in and out, in and out. Just writing this makes me think of watching an infant sleeping in a crib, rhythmically breathing in and out. That does it for me. It gets me centered, in my body and, momentarily, out of my head. When my mind wanders —and it does frequently – I simply refocus on my breath. • That said, sometimes we can also use a little help with guided meditations, another personal favorite. Following the words is a great thing for those of us who tend to be a tad, shall we say, controlling. We can relax into the imagery and not work so hard on making the relaxed state happen. There are some great CD resources for adults and children at www.healthjou
eys.com. • There is also the very excellent mindfulness training. Jon Kabat Zinn (www.mindfulnesstapes.com) as well as Thich Nhat Hanh have video samples of their mindfulness training available on the Inte
et (You Tube).

7. Rebalance your energy.
Try acupuncture, energy work, yoga and the like to help rebalance your body’s energy flow. You will feel like a million bucks when you have finished the session.

May your week be filled with some pockets of play and relaxation. Life is short; take some time to make yourself a priority.