Grieving Advice Tips - “The Healing Touch of Friends and Strangers”

“HeartSpun Talk from the Crucible of Experience”©

From the life of Ken Matthies - Author, Poet, Real Life Storyteller

How often during the course of your grieving days and months has something like this happened to you and helped you in your healing just by its happening?

You’re in a public place somewhere, perhaps bent on work or a mission of some kind to try to stay focused on living life despite your pain; or perhaps just wandering aimlessly because you feel so lost and empty inside and someone – sometimes friend and sometimes a stranger - shows up seemingly out of nowhere to involve you in a conversation.

Depending on where you’re at in the stages of healing from grief you might or might not feel much like having a conversation at that particular moment of time, but something deep inside you urges you to accept the opportunity, so you allow it to happen.

Inevitably the conversation seems to come around to you and how you’re feeling. A friend will ask this question of you because they know the circumstances of your loss and are genuinely conce
ed about your welfare. A stranger will sometimes ask the question simply out of common decency, or because they sense in their heart of compassion that there is a need to ask it and are willing to hear you share the answer.

In either case you found yourself talking fully from your heart, finally able to express a slice of the deep and biting pain of loss, grief and bereavement which is consuming your life in bite sized chunks, leaving you feeling hopelessly mired in a swamp of emotions from which there seems no escape.

And often even the stranger will listen with rapt attention as you pour out a piece of your grief between great gulps of air for your starving lungs, releasing some of those tightly bound emotions running rampant in your heart of endless night. A friend knows of this need within you and has come to you with a heart already open to helping you release those emotions.

Then you suddenly spot the gleam of moisture in their eyes or the track of a tear gliding down their cheek, as your words of grief and longing reach out to touch their hearts and show how much they care about and are feeling your time of pain with you. Often their tears are joining the ones already spilling from your own eyes.

Sometimes these kinds of conversations only last for a few minutes and sometimes they can last for hours, depending on time and the circumstances which allowed them to happen at all during those moments of need for expression in your life.

After whatever duration of time is allotted to it the conversation is finally over and you’re left to walk away from it on your own again – still alone in the physical sense but no longer feeling nearly as alone in the senses of your heart, which have found a brief and somehow healing expression of the void left in your life by the loss you’ve suffered.

Have you noticed how much lighter your sodden spirit of grief feels after encounters such as this? Even if only for mere minutes or hours after they occur? Both your heart and your step on this earth you walk on are lifted and elevated above their former burden for these seemingly magical and blessed moments following such a conversational time – and a tiny piece of you feels healed by it having happened to you.

I remember those hundreds of spirit-touching conversational occurrences in my own early time of loss, grief and bereavement as I came to healing terms with the death of my daughter. In fact they continue to occur on a near regular basis even now as I walk my healing path – and I am grateful beyond mere human words to know that they do.

I’m utterly convinced in the heart of my beliefs that these healing times, moments and opportunities are orchestrated for us by a Power far beyond that of our own – one who knows our hurting needs intimately and cares deeply and lovingly about our welfare and our healing.

So when the boundaries of your grief seem endless and the shape of your tomorrows still feels twisted by the blight of pain know that someone else will come along, sent to offer you another opportunity to open up your heart of grief and allow you to talk about your feelings.

With each occurrence of these encounters know that your pain is being touched by a divine direction in a process meant to help you – and know that you will walk away from it finding yourself raised up from your grief by the healing touch of friends and strangers.

Welcome those times when they happen. Know and understand that they have a purpose and a reason for occurring. They are a true and meaningful part of the stages of grief healing in your life.