High School Transition…

Where does the time go? It seems like only yesterday I was just planning for the summer camps, swim lessons, visits to grandparents, and a family vacation. And now all of the activities are nearly done. I thought summer seemed to go fast when I was a kid, wow it goes really fast as a parent. One reason could be because this fall is especially emotional for me; our son will be starting high school. These will be some of the most memorable years of his life; as he transitions from child to young adult.

This past year, in eighth grade, I watched the beginning of his transition into a young adult. Small things; better coordination and control playing basketball and running track; growing taller than me; searching out his own identity through sports; became one of the kids everyone wanted to be around; working hard to keep up his grades; learning to balance homework and extra curricular activities. He also worked watching the kids next door every other week; it was exciting watching him learn how to balance being a playmate, role model, and enforcer. He is such a fine young man.

If you have a teenager, you too might have witnessed some or all of the changes in your child. And as you know, the transition wasn’t always easy. Teenage years are the years of rebellion and self assertion and we also experienced our share. Any change, even small change can be hard. And I think it has been harder on us as parents than it has been for him.

Although, he has blossomed into a wonderfully polite, well mannered, well liked, self sufficient young man, the milestone of starting high school brings with it a variety of new unknown feelings and emotions. Not only for us as parents, but also for our teens. Here are a few tips I have compiled on how to make the best of this stressful and confusing time in you and your teenager’s life.

1. Roll with it. The more, we as parents try to hold on to our children, the more rebellious they may become. Growing pains are part of the transition into adulthood. Take deep breaths and roll with the changes and remember it will all be over too soon.
2. Be open and understanding. Stress will be at an all time high for the first few weeks as your teenager tries to figure it all out. Just be there.
3. LISTEN. Don’t force the conversation, spend time with your teenager, they will tell you all you need to know. They want to see how you react, what advice or stories you will share with them to help them get through the “issue” of the moment.
4. Spend time together. Find at least one to three times per week to do something as a family; eat dinner or breakfast together, go for a walk, work in the yard, play games. Ask each family member to write down what they would like to do and then draw out of a hat, that way everyone will get to do at least one thing they enjoy.
5. Set limits and routines. Yes, they are growing up, but not grown yet. Discuss expectations and limits a few weeks before school starts. Share your expectations and also listen to theirs. Settle on guidelines and routines that both of you are happy with and can live with.

Remember, high school will hold some of the most memorable times not only for your young adult, but also for you. Think back to your high school days and allow your teenager to grow into a young adult as you did. They will make mistakes, be understanding; they will test your will, be there for them; and they will get on your nerves, listen to them. Treasure each high school moment, day, and year; it will be over before you know it, just like summer.