***Hope I Didn't Complain Too Much

I spent a little time with Bill recently. He’s in his eighties now and lives alone. He spends most of his days in front of the TV as he needs a walker to get around. He has a boarder who lives downstairs and she is supposed to fix his meals and keep him company in exchange for a substantial reduction on her rent. Meals are mostly frozen prepared dinners from the grocery store. She never spends more than five minutes at a time with Bill and he complains about it. And I understand that. For a man in his eighties, he’s being taken advantage of.

Our conversation lasted about an hour. We covered a lot of things including some regrets he has in his life, his loneliness, his estranged family and his quality of life. There’s no one to talk to. His meals come out of a microwave. He can’t drive anymore. He’s bound to his house. It’s kind of tough to be upbeat about life when those are the results you have near the end of it.

As I was walking down the front walk after our visit, he simply yelled out, “Hope I didn’t complain too much.”

ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT: Perhaps Bill’s last words to me that day should be the last words you leave people with. Instead of saying, “goodbye” or “so long” perhaps you should close with, “hope I didn’t complain too much.”

What different conversations you’d end up having with others if you knew you were going to end the conversation with, “hope I didn’t complain too much.”

In fact, I think ending a conversation with “hope I didn’t complain too much” would actually cement the conversation you had with someone else. Both of the talk partners would be forced to reflect on the conversation to see if one or the other did complain too much.

But it will never fly. People just don’t want to be accountable for their conversations. People just want to complain. They want to whine and moan about how tough their lives are and use it as an excuse for not doing better. They don’t want to get out of their ruts and routines and enjoy something better. They don’t want to improve their circumstances or their lives because, well, it’s hard work and they already work hard enough. No. You’ll never hear those words at the end of a conversation because no one really would mean it.

So I guess life will just go on the same way, getting the same results and complaining about the same things. It’s easier to be lazy and complain than it is to fix a sorry life. So feel free to make your choice. It probably won’t be any different anyway.

Hope I didn’t complain too much.