If I Only Had A Pause Button

If I only had a pause button, I would have gotten blisters on my thumb this holiday season.

If I only had a pause button, I would have used it for this past Thanksgiving. I have so much to be grateful for, from my family to my health and countless factors in between. That day was truly a celebratory day, one which gratitude and appreciation were the stars of the show. A feast at the Brown Derby highlighted the evening. If I had a pause button, I would have used it. I did not want the joy to end.

If I only had a pause button, I would have used it this past Christmas. After struggling for the past few due to my wife’s father’s death, this Christmas was a celebration of life. Every second of Christmas evening and Christmas day was spent wearing a smile. The happiness we experienced was stratospheric and for good reasons. Our family is healthy and happy. We have wonderful friends. Our business is doing very well. We are expressing our passions in life — be it martial arts or music, Japanese or fencing. We have created a life characterized by happiness and adventure, helping others along the way. Normally the phrase, “It does not get any better” would fit, except that it continues to get better and better. If I had a pause button, I would have used it. I did not want the joy to end.

If I only had a pause button, I would have used it 24 hours ago. Yesterday, I ran the Disney marathon for the 8th time. To say it is one of my favorite events does not even begin to scratch the surface of my feelings about the event. For some it is a 26.2 mile run. For me, it is an epic journey inward, one that allows me to explore my inner world and find talents, skills and abilities which I never knew existed. I also get to interact with people from around the globe and offer a helping hand at times. Or be on the receiving end of assistance. Mostly, it is a chance to be in the moment, event though the moment is very physically demanding. Marathons are a strange thing. When you are running one, it never seem to end, until it ends. Then it feels like it never happened. If I had a pause button, I would have used it. I did not want the joy to end.

Yes, if I only had a pause button, I would. . . . I would. . . . I would probably be using it frequently. A bit too frequently. If I paused, life would pass me by. I would miss out on the fruits of my labor. The seeds that were planted many moons ago would never have the opportunity to sprout. People who I could have helped now would needlessly suffer because I am “paused,” stuck holding on to a memory. I would never get the opportunity to feel sad that the moment is passed, only to have my ”emotional phoenix” rise to find new experience that life presents. I would never grow.

Thank goodness I don’t have a pause button.