Instant Healing, Really?

We want fast food, speedy customer service, instant messaging and expedited payments. And yet, there is something about the familiar that wants us to stay connected to Freud’s old paradigm that healing, forgiveness, and letting go of old beliefs is an arduous task that will take years. So, when I declare I offer a new type of coaching that allows people to achieve more of what they want...faster...some folks get skeptical. And, that is exactly what happened at the TEDx event last night.

I was at the top of the Space Needle with seventy-five leaders who share my passion for innovation. The ideas and business cards were moving so quickly around the high-top cocktail tables we could have been at a speed dating event. Early in the evening I found myself in an engaging conversation with a consultant about his work. By the time the topic of my vocation surfaced, there was already a lovely rapport established. But when I shared what I do for a living, you would have thought I grew a third eye in those brief moments.

After some silence he said, “I believe in what you do”, but his dodging eyes and tapping hand told me something entirely different. He eventually shared he was a trained counselor by trade, which explained a lot.

The traditional therapeutic community doesn't believe in the notion of instant healing and making change easier. The field of psychology is slow to adopt the notion that we can heal, grow, and evolve more quickly with new therapies. Again, it’s interesting to me, because we love the whole premise of FAST in our culture. I wonder why it doesn't apply to the healing community. Instead, we want painstaking self-awareness to carry all the water for change. I'm here to tell you that self-awareness is the invitation to show up differently, but it's not always enough to create sustainable change.

I have to admit I was a reluctant advocate myself until a few years ago. At the time, I was acutely aware of my own themes in life. I had already come to terms with my lifetime of quick, ungraceful exits. I knew every job I left in the past was an attempt to avoid some inevitable disappointment that was outside my conscious awareness. I understood that abandoning my children was an inexcusable attempt to save them from myself. I had come to grips with the cruelness of leaving great loves while the houselights were down during intermission. But the awareness wasn't enough to change the feeling I still held in my body that I didn't deserve happiness.

I can still remember when I released undeserving from my body. I wish I could declare it unfolded in the solitude of an Ashram, but the recollection of the hotel carpet with its grotesquely over-sized flowers of fuchsia, yellow and orange still reminds me otherwise. I was in a crowded hotel conference room attending a training session for one of the healing modalities I use today in my practice. I know - lacking cinematic quality, huh? But alas, the irony of the location confirms you don't have to be in India to change the course of your life.

In a period of 15 minutes, I untethered from that old belief, captured my lessons, and experienced a sense of self-forgiveness that is still incredibly humbling. I felt lighter, at peace, and knew immediately I wanted to offer this gift to others. More important, I want to release all the other beliefs that weren't serving me. With each belief I released, I was invited to show up differently in the world.

And yet, I know it can be easy to scoff at the notion that we can resolve negative emotions, release old beliefs, and take a quick ride to instant healing if you haven't experienced it first-hand. But I have my own experiences that allow me to be unapologetic for not conforming to the framework of the larger healing community. For every person who does not believe or understand what I do, there are others who are deeply curious and courageously ready. My job is not to convince anyone, but to meet people where they are.