Introverts: Stepping Outside Your Comfort Zone; How Often, How Far?

How many times have you read or heard the following (or something similar)?:

"Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new." ~ Brian Tracy

This is a great, succinct bit of advice, and I agree with it up to a point. In my opinion, however, this advice can backfire if applied too often or too far. Yes, you grow when you step outside your comfort zone. If you do it consistently, the boundaries of your comfort zone expand. However, if you step too far out, too often, you may end up a drained mess!

My experience has been that the whole growth/expansion of comfort zone is a two-steps-forward, one-step-back progression. It's not like I tried something new ONCE, felt awkward ONCE and suddenly leapt forward into a new comfort level. It took consistent "doing things that felt uncomfortable" before I made gradual (emphasis on gradual) progress. And yes, doing so used up a great deal of my precious introvert energy.

My take as an introvert living in a predominately extroverted society is this:

Introverts, just by living and interacting socially, are very often operating outside their comfort zone already!

Do we really need more boundary-pushing than we already do on a daily basis? This is something I think most people, introverts and extroverts alike, overlook. The assumption seems to be that we all live inside our comfort zones most of the time, and need to be motivated to expand them. I disagree. I firmly believe there is value in trying something new, acquiring a new skill, and becoming comfortable in a new arena. I also firmly believe that there is nothing wrong with embracing what you already find comfortable.

Yes, you can grow by overcoming fear, pushing a boundary, etc. But is that the ONLY way to grow? What about learning to recognize and accept the gifts you already have (by the way if it's a gift, you can better believe using that gift is well within your comfort zone)? What about developing self-trust and the confidence that you are good enough, just as you are? That's the kind of growth I prefer; it involves a lot less pushing and forcing, a lot more reflection (we innies love that), joy and ease.

OK, so you've probably figured out I'm not going to answer the questions: how often, how far, in terms of stepping outside your comfort zone. That's not my role as a coach. My intention here is to get you thinking (we like to do that, don't we?) about what's right for you, because, of course, the answer is different for each person.

My final thought on this: Don't equate "difficulty" with "moral superiority," or "ease" with "inferiority." nn(c) 2009 Joanne Julius Hunoldn