Kids are People Too!

Kids are People Too!
My son, think he was about 16 at the time, turned to me one day and stated” “I feel like you are frustrated or angry about something and you are taking it out on me!” I have to admit that stopped me in my tracks and made me think. We have all heard the saying “we often hurt those we love or those closet to us the most!” When you think about it we have all probably done it way more times than we care to admit. Think of the times that you were angry, upset, or frustrated with someone or about something that happened. You arrive home those negative feelings or emotions are still with you. What do you do with them? You release them on whoever may be the first person in the line of fire. Could be your spouse, children even your dog or cat. Although this behaviour is not mature, controlled or respectful we have all done it. We have all done it because we are human, none of us are perfect!
My point here is that adults get it. We understand that this is all part of being human and we learn to deal with it. Most of us are aware that is a reaction not a response to something which happened or the emotions you are feeling. Usually, we apologize for our bad behaviour later to the person we hurt. As adults we have hopefully learned how to forgive without resentment, accept the apology and move on. Don’t get me wrong, I’m talking the odd occurrence not a daily occurrence. On the other hand kids do not get it! When you react negatively or disrespectfully in response to something which your child says or does, they don’t realize that it’s just because you are human, or that it is a reaction to something totally unrelated. You may raise your voice, yell, swear, or even slam a door. You may even call your child stupid or an idiot, ask them why they are so dumb?
So to you this is a reaction to your emotion or to the thing that got you upset or frustrated in the first place. To a kid this is hurtful, damaging even to their self-esteem and self-worth. It can even cause anxiety and a lack of confidence. This is emotional or verbal abuse, the words stick with your child. The more it occurs the worse the child feels. It’s like you are chipping away at the soul piece by piece. It can affect their social life, school life even life at home, by causing them to become aggressive, or turn inward and regress. They may become very timid or become a bully. These emotions lead to much worse behaviour if not dealt with.
If you have or do react this way with your children, please think about the possible long term damage you may be causing. Remember you are the role model .You are teaching your children how they should react in a similar situation. Imagine the roles reversed and your child is the one asking if you are dumb? How would that go over? As I said we are all human, if on the odd occasion this happens, please, please, please take it upon yourself to ensure that you go to that child, get their full attention and wholeheartedly apologize for your loss of control. Take full responsibility for your actions. Ensure that they know in no way were they responsible for your actions. If you don’t do this your children will struggle when dealing with emotions. They will go around treating other people the way that you treat them. Use this to teach the proper way of dealing with emotions. Children are people too and need to be treated with respect and honesty in a responsible way by all adults. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Imagine the outcome something like this would cause if you just let loose on someone at the grocery store because you lost control!