Lessons Learned Throughout the Holiday Season

We are, once again, in the aftermath of the Winter Holiday Season and recovery and resolutions are everywhere. This time of the year can be so stressful for everyone, perhaps even more so, to families adjusting to divorce. Newly single-again parents have been struggling to bring the joy and security of the holidays to family and friends. To ask you to do one more thing in addition to the hundreds of things on your 'To Do List' might seem impossible but there is one thing you can do this Holiday season that might pay off all year--lea
the lessons of the Holiday Season and apply them to your life year round. Lessons of compassion, common sense, forgiveness, and strength are involved in so much of what we do during this time of year. Just take a moment now and then and apply them to your life, not just through the Winter Holidays, but year round.

The preparations we go through teach us about planning and budgeting. One lesson we learn about planning is setting goals and designing ways to achieve them. Whether we are planning a grocery list for Holiday baking or planning for a child's first day of school, we learn to plan ahead and achieve goals within a realistic budget. When we made our gift lists and gave serious thought to what would make our loved ones happy, we examined our relationships and our expectations. The joy of giving is a lesson that serves us year round, especially when those gifts we give are not gifts from a mall but are gifts from our own hearts.

At Holiday time we see so many opportunities to help those less fortunate than we are and it is a good lesson to remember these people long after the Holidays have passed. This isn't just the red kettles on the street corners, but our friends who are newly divorced and struggling through their first Holiday apart. Sharing your experiences and perceptions can help a friend who has to share their children's time for the first time. If you have a friend who will be without their children sometime during the Holidays you can share your family with them. Compassion for those around us who are facing new challenges can bring meaning to your own life and warm your heart.

One important lesson to learn is compassion and forgiveness. Just as you write out a budget for gifts and expenses, plan a budget for your time. Giving yourself time to enjoy the Holiday and the comfort of family and friends is good training for a year of building healthy relationships and fulfilling experiences. Making a realistic plan for what you have to accomplish and build in time for lunch with friends, school plays and concerts, and some "me time." Is the start of a well-balanced lifestyle. Making a time budget or schedule will serve you year round and hopefully avoid some of the burnout that can happen whenever you find yourself overburdened.

The lesson of forgiveness is probably the most important lesson of all. Forgiveness brings the sense peace that the Holiday Season revolves around. But I find that forgiveness is more of a process than an action. It does not happen all at once or ove
ight and the most important person you have to is yourself. Forgive yourself for not being perfect, making mistakes, and for simply being human. To prepare and celebrate the Holiday with your friends and family you have to focus on the present and the joy at hand, remember Holidays past with thoughtfulness and without regret, and anticipate Holidays in the future with joy and hope for healing and growth in the coming year.