Love Your Child To Better Behavior

In the book, "The Five Love Languages For Children"
Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, the authorsn describe five ways to show love. Apparently, eachn of us has a preference for receiving love in an particular way. Discovering your child’s preferencesn gives you a big advantage and deeper way ton enhance your connection.

In terms of love languages, we’re all different. Somen like gifts. Other like physical touch or words ofn affirmation. Imagine a kitty just purring away in you
lap when you pet her just the way she likes it best.
Knowing and using your child’s love languagen works like this. It helps enhance your relationship,n builds your child’s self-esteem, and even improvesn behavior.

Here is a brief description of each love language:nn o Acts of Service - helping someone to do errands orn choresn o Quality Time - One on one, undivided attentionn o Words of Affirmation - speaking appreciation andn acknowledgementn o Physical Touch - Hugging, holding hands, massagen o Receiving Gifts - receiving objects that shown caring and knowledgen
DISCOVERING YOUR CHILD’S LOVE LANGUAGE

Everyone enjoys all of these to one degree orn another, but there will be one or two that trulyn resonate. How do you find out which one is the rightn one for your child? Here are three possibilities:nn o Ask themn o Observe the love language they use most with youn o Experiment and see the reactionnn ***Ask Them***

I know this is TOO obvious! The tricky thing is thatn while some children will know right away, others mayn not really have a clear idea or may have a false idea.
That whole gift thing sounds good after all, but itn may not really be the number one choice.nn ***Observation***

Often the love language that a person gives ton others is the one that they themselves mostn resonate with. This makes sense given that wen often think everyone else thinks and feels the wayn we do. Notice how your child expresses love to you.
Does he often bring you flowers from the yard? Hisn love language may be Receiving Gifts. Does she given your shoulders a rub after a hard day? She mightn like Physical Touch. Notice how your child gives loven to other members of the family. This is a big clue! ;)nn ***Experiment***

Once you have an idea about which love languagesn your child seems to gravitate towards--give them an try! If he melts when you give him a big squeeze,n then that Physical touch language is working great!
If she blushes with pleasure when you complimentn her on her report card, then Words of Affirmationn seem to be doing the trick. If you notice your child isn purring like that kitty I mentioned, then ask you
child what she is noticing and maybe ask what wouldn make it even better.

APPLICATIONS

Once you have a list of the top 2 or 3 love languagesn for your child, you can use these along with you
other efforts. For example, when giving your childn specific praise, you can tailor your praise statementsn to fit the love language. For a Words of Affirmationn love language, use lots and lots of specific praisen statements. For a Physical Touch love language,n punctuate your statement with a hug or a shoulde
rub.

When designing an incentive system for your childn use the love languages to come up with new andn interesting ideas. A coupon for doing a chore forn them or for a trip to the Mall would motivate a childn who likes Acts of Service. A prize box with lots ofn small gifts would be motivating for a child who enjoys
Receiving Gifts. A sticker chart system that builds upn to spending quality time at an amusement park alonen with you would definitely motivate a child whon craves quality time.

Through using the love languages, you can help you
child to truly feel the love you want to express andn build his self-esteem and improve his behavior at then same time. You can make this fun for yourself byn pretending you are a love language detective.

Remember this works great with friends and spousesn too!

Do you know what your family’s (and your own) loven language is?

Great! Now, go spread the love around! ?