Meditation: The Interesting Quirks of Access Samadhi

Access Samadhi is a stage of meditation where interesting things can happen. It is the active gateway to fixed Samadhi. The danger with access Samadhi is that a meditator can become so engrossed with the unusual aspects of access Samadhi that they lose interest in going further.

The experiences during access Samadhi can generally be broken down into two areas - visions and phrases. All visions should be suspect, but occasional phrases may have some relevance and actually be significant teachings for an individual. Sometimes the phrases come from the subconscious memory where one may have read the phrase or heard it before, and it suddenly comes up during meditation. Other phrases are not so easy to explain, especially the ones that come across with immense authority.

The phrase that I'll never forget happened at the Zen Center in San Francisco during a seven-day sesshin. The forty-five minute meditation periods were going by in seemingly seconds, time was non-existent, and suddenly it was as if a loudspeaker went off in my head, "You are now completely healed." This happened just before I ended up in bed and seriously ill for three months, and I actually still feel the effects of it now 24 years later. Go figure.

Examples of other significant phrases I can recall were:

"The only difference between life and death is the breath."

"Be level, true and correct."

"Go deeper in the valley." nn‘The citta (mind) is ahead of the times."

"There are seeds to pick about but not talk about."

"Think deep, pure thoughts."

"You are it, all of it."

"The Ajna Chakra comes from warm sun."

"There is a difference between a material void and an immaterial void."

"The brain is dead."

Regarding visions; I recall four while meditating in Mckenna, Washington with Roshi Koshin. The first was three shafts of brilliant white light - a tall one, a short one, and a middle sized one - all surrounded by black space. Accompanying the vision came the substantial words; "We are watching over you." The second was where I saw myself on a footbridge over a pond. I had a fishing pole in my hand, and on the end of the line was a bobber. As I cast my line into the water, I noticed that the bobber was strange; a miniature replica of the earth. Immediately, I knew intuitively that from that moment on, I would only be playing with the world. The third involved a fishing boat where a smiling fish jumped from the water into my arms; and the fourth was a vision of a short piece of rope frayed on both ends, accompanied by the phrase, "You comes apart at the end."

At Shasta Abbey in Califo
ia, again during access Samadhi, I had two past life experiences verified by a Roshi. They came up as incredible visions, like nothing I have ever experienced before. In the first one, which was in color, I was in a blazing desert standing on brilliant white steps with another monk. Immediately following this, the vision abruptly changed to me as a woman walking down a narrow street lined with 1930-40 era cars. This was in black and white.

These are just a smattering of the many visions and experiences that can come up in access Samadhi. What I would recommend is that if visions or phrases begin appearing for you (and they don't appear for everyone), I would suggest that you initially write them down. Keep a notebook by your side and simply record what is happening. Then as soon as you write them down, try to forget about them and return to your meditation. Although writing them down will temporarily distract you from going deeper, the experiences are so compelling and interesting that not writing them down or trying not to remember them is almost impossible. So, indulge yourself for awhile and record them. They are fun and sometime insightful to look back at later.

After you have accumulated a small collection of experiences, put your notebook away and begin letting go of each vision or phrase as it arises, regardless of how important it may seem. On one hand, this is difficult to do because they can be so profound, but on the other hand, none of them will take you into fixed Samadhi where the real work of consciousness shifts is done. In the end, if you don't discipline yourself and let the visions and phrases go, you will remain bogged down in the excitement of access Samadhi and never taste meditation's real potential.

Just as you learned to notice and then not become attached to thoughts, emotions, and feelings during meditation, regardless of their importance, you must eventually say goodbye to these unique and compelling visions and phrases as well. Otherwise, you will never get beyond this preliminary stage of meditation and approach enlightenment.