Musings On Gratitude

As announced in my last newsletter, I offered a live seminar nthis past Saturday evening at the local East-West Bookstore.
The title of my talk was “Tapping into Gratitude.” It had noriginally been scheduled for the weekend before Thanksgiving – nthus the subject – but store conflicts forced us to move it. No nproblem, I thought – gratitude is an excellent subject any day. :)

Unfortunately, in the process of changing the dates, the store gave nme a 7-9pm timeslot … but apparently put 4-6pm on their calendar.
So when I showed up the other night, I was three hours late.

“How did I manifest this?” I wondered.

It also gave me an occasion to consider something I had recently nsaid to a client:

“If you aren’t happy about a certain situation, can you at least be ngrateful…?”

See, I always ask clients to write out a statement of what their nideal life would look like, stating it in the present, and starting nwith the words, “I am so happy and grateful now that…”

But there are times when happy isn’t quite so easy to muster.
I wasn’t happy that I wasn’t here for the folks who arrived at
4pm to hear me speak. I wasn’t happy that the store thought I nhad been a no-show for an event they had publicized. And I ncouldn’t even be happy that I now had a free evening – because
I didn’t. A day earlier I had spoken with a gentleman and told nhim the event was at 7 – and that’s when he showed up. When
I was an actor, the rule was that show went on unless there were nfewer people in the audience than in the cast. Being a cast of one,
I was kinda stuck…

Rather than cursing the turn of events, and what might have nseemed like some pretty faulty manifesting on my part, I calmly naccepted that there is a divine perfection to things. As it turned nout, our one-on-one “seminar” yielded some very interesting nthoughts about gratitude. And for that, I was very grateful.
These thoughts then helped form the content of my teleclasses nearlier today, and what I’d like to discuss here.

It seems that many (most …?) of us have a fairly meager education nin being grateful… as in truly feeling gratitude.

Don’t get me wrong – most of us get thorough training in how nto outwardly express gratitude…

“Say ‘thank you’ to the nice man. Did you say ‘thank you?’
You ungrateful little kid! Say ‘thank you’ to the nice man, or nso help me I’ll teach you about gratitude!”nn(For the record, that is not a line of dialogue that ever came nfrom my parents, but a composite of things I’ve experienced nfirst, second and third hand.)

Anyhow, we are taught to say “Thank you” whether we experience na feeling of gratitude or not. So this expression becomes somewhat ndetached from any authentic feeling – and for many it is rarely organic.

It is a “should.”

Gratitude is something we “should” feel. If we want to be an nacceptable member of society that is. Or if we want to secure a nplace in Heaven, or whatever carrot may be dangled in front of us.
Either way, it is exte
ally motivated, rather than internally so.

And that often triggers defiance. We may feel compelled to rebel nagainst “should” – even if it is something we want.

Imagine wandering across a barren desert, suffering under the nsweltering sun, and coming upon a drinking fountain with clear, ncool water…

Just as you are about to reach it, someone appears and says, “My, you look thirsty! You should take a drink.”

“’Should” take a drink?!?” you think. “I’ll show you!” And with na regretful look at the inviting water, you move on with a sense of nself-satisfaction.

To be fair to those who “should” on us, they are simply passing non what they learned was right. This is not meant to pass judgment non anyone – we are all dong the best we can given our model of nthe world. And God knows I’ve been guilty myself – you should nsee me on Halloween, asking my kids at each house, “Did you nremember to say ‘thank you?’” Tap tap tap…

Even in the realm of self-help and Law of Attraction, gratitude nstill becomes a “should.”

“To get ahead, you should adopt an ‘attitude of gratitude!’ If you nwant to get what you want, you should feel gratitude. You should nwrite a list everyday of at least 250,000 things for which you should nfeel grateful.”

So it become a “to do” item – one more obligation on the road nto manifesting the riches we desire. I’m not denying the value nof gratitude lists – they can be very powerful. But if they are ndone as a “should” – a daily chore - gratitude may not be the nonly feeling being cultivated by the act. Low vibrational feelings nof resentment may counteract the high vibrational feelings of gratitude.

So… what if we could let go of all this “should”…?

What if feeling grateful was an end in itself that we desired, nrather than a means to an end – either getting something, or navoiding getting in trouble…?

What if you looked at feeling grateful as being full of a great nfeeling…?

Forget the spelling – it makes sense! Truly feeling grateful – nout of genuine emotion rather than obligation – is one of the nbest feelings you can experience. And feeling great is really nwhat we are after.

A: “I’m going to try to feel more grateful so I can manifest a BMW.”
B: “Why do you want a BMW?”
A: “Because I believe it will feel great to have it.”

What if you could allow yourself to be full of that great feeling nright now. Not because it will help manifest a BMW – as a means nto an end – but as an end in and of itself…?

Now, I’m not denying that being in a state of gratitude helps nmanifest great things – it is one of the highest vibrations we can nexpress, and as such puts us in harmony with wonderful things nand magnetically draws them to us. But that is icing on the cake.
The feeling itself is a worthy reward all by itself, even without nany further material acquisition as a result of it.

Right…?

But then you might say, “If I truly feel grateful, won’t I just nkick back and settle for what I’ve got?”

I don’t think so. I think when we truly are full of that great nfeeling, we naturally want to do something with it – which nprompts us to be of service. The more we are grateful, the ngreater our desire to give.

And, of course, when we give service in that way, darned if nwe aren’t rewarded with more things for which to be grateful.
Oh well.

So go ahead and make a gratitude list – if only in your head – nconsidering all the things for which you can feel grateful… nyour heart is beating… you have food to eat… you woke up ntoday… Not for what you can get by feeling grateful, or because nyou should be grateful – but simply for the joy of the feeling.

Consider it not as an obligation, but rather an opportunity... nan opportunity to be full of a great feeling.

You should give it a try… you’ll thank me later. :)