Quieting Resentment

Allowing resentment to fester inside us is something we ought to avoid. So, when we begin to feel resentful it is a sign that we need to deal with it. You are likely to feel resentful when someone has criticized you, taken advantage of you, ignored you or mistreated you in some way. As a result, you feel distressed, confused or even trembling inside.

When you feel resentment, the feeling may shake your confidence and force you to become distrusting, apprehensive or even angry towards the other person. You may replay the hurt over and over again in your mind. This constant mental replay of a situation ultimately results in frustration, hostility and ill feelings.

By dwelling on the offense you no longer need the other person to hurt you, you do it to yourself. In essence, by ruminating over the past incident you end up questioning your own self-worth. How did the situation make you feel about yourself? Usually it is not necessarily about the other person it is about you and the negative feelings about yourself that arose.

We have no control over another person’s words or behaviors. We do, however, have control over the ability to gather stability within ourselves. So, after an uncomfortable comment, for example, you can say to yourself, this person rubbed me the wrong way. I feel upset and offended. Then take a deep breath and feel the energy of the disturbance in your body. As the energy runs through your body begin to gather your composure. Then you can decide how to find the middle ground with that person.

Lashing out angrily isn’t the answer. It doesn’t mean you become a doormat. It means that you accept the situation and then you take responsibility for yourself and your feelings. Responding from a place of strength is way better than reacting out of weakness or anger.

The serenity prayer states "The courage to change the things we can," it is not talking about changing other people or situations. Mainly it’s about honestly looking at our self and realizing what we have the power and control to change within our self.

As life goes on we are bound to have disappointments or conflicts with other people. It’s normal for these situations to lead us to moments of self-doubt and confusion. For that reason, in those moments we need to move toward a calm standpoint. A calm place will allow you to dissolve resentment and replace it with poise and self-assurance. We continually have to allow ourselves to be cool, calm and collected in order to make choices that feel right. Choose to master your inbo
ability to be serene by taking the time to pause.