Article

Rest Your Weary Head

Topic: Positive PsychologyBy Rick Hanson, Ph.D.Published Recently added

Legacy signals

Legacy popularity: 399 legacy views

The traditional saying that's this week's practice has been sinking in for me lately. Thoughts have been swirling around like a sandstorm about work, things I've been reading, household tasks, finances, conce s about people, a yard that needs mowing, loose ends, projects, etc. etc. The other day I told my wife: "I'm thinking about too many things." Know the feeling?

By "head" I mean the cognitive aspects of experience such as planning, analyzing, obsessing, considering, worrying, making little speeches inside, going back over situations or conversations, and trying to figure things out. "Weary" means being fatigued due to continued exertion or endurance, sometimes also with a sense of being dismayed, even depressed; its roots as a word have to do with the effects of a long journey. Basically, your tank is running low.

When your thought processes are tired, it doesn't feel good. You're not relaxed, and probably stressed, which will gradually wear down your body and mood. You're more likely to make a mistake or a bad decision: studies show that experts have less brain activity than novices when performing tasks; their thoughts are not darting about in unproductive directions. When the mind is ruminating away like the proverbial hamster on a treadmill, the emotional content is usually negative - hassles, threats, issues, problems, and conflicts - and that's not good for you. Nor is it good for others for you to be preoccupied, tense, or simply fried.

On the other hand, when you rest that busy mind, you stop wearing it out plus you start refueling and repairing it. The roots of the word "rest" come from places to take a break on a journey; it's natural and necessary to rest when you're weary.

The Practice.

Routinely check in with yourself and ask: What am I thinking about? Is this productive? Do I want to keep thinking about this?

Give your mind little breaks. Look up into the corner of the room. Exhale; this engages the calming and restorative parasympathetic wing of the nervous system to slow your heart rate; the longer the exhalation, the more parasympathetic activation. Bring awareness into the body, whether it's sensing the breath or paying attention to the movements of walking or reaching for a cup. Set aside a dozen seconds to follow a few breaths. Pull out of thought and, as Jon Kabat-Zinn writes, come to your senses.

Step back and take a bird's-eye view of wherever you are, as if you were looking down on it from a few hundred feet above. Try to see yourself in a more impersonal way, as a part of a larger stream of circumstances and events. This will tend to activate circuits on the sides of your brain that are associated with spacious mindful awareness, coming into the present, letting go of inner speech and a less burdensome sense of me-myself-and-I.

Above all, recognize that, if you're like me and I think most people, so much of what we twirl around within the mind is, frankly, a waste of time. It doesn't solve a problem, prevent a bad thing from happening, or bring us to peace with others. And it's deeply unnatural. As we evolved, our ancestors probably experienced more physical but less mental fatigue than most people today in the developed nations. Consequently, our bodies are adapted to weariness - but our minds are not. For a brief time - finals week, an intense month at work, a demanding year with a new baby - OK, sometimes we just have to crank the mind up into overdrive and tough it out. But as a way of life, it's nuts.

We have to take a stand against the crazy mental busyness that has become the new normal. We're bombarded with things to think about all day long, flooded with words and images to process, and forced to juggle unprecedented complexities. Our minds are being hauled along behind a culture without a speed limit - but the human body and brain does have a limit, a natural carrying capacity, and when we exceed it there's always a price. It's like being trapped in rush hour your whole life. Each time you know this, each time you pull out of the mental traffic, it's an act of freedom and kindness and wisdom.

And then when you reenter the stream of thought, you'll be a lot clearer, happier, and more effective.

Article author

About the Author

Rick Hanson, Ph.D., is a psychologist, Senior Fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, and New York Times best-selling author. His seven books have been published in 31 languages and include Making Great Relationships, Neurodharma, Resilient, Hardwiring Happiness, Just One Thing, Buddha’s Brain, and Mother Nurture - with over a million copies in English alone. He's the founder of the Global Compassion Coalition and the Wellspring Institute for Neuroscience and Contemplative Wisdom, as well as the co-host of the Being Well podcast - which has been downloaded over 10 million times. His free newsletters have 250,000 subscribers, and his online programs have scholarships available for those with financial needs. He’s lectured at NASA, Google, Oxford, and Harvard. An expert on positive neuroplasticity, his work has been featured on CBS, NPR, the BBC, and other major media. He began meditating in 1974 and has taught in meditation centers worldwide. He and his wife live in northern Califo ia and have two adult children. He loves the wilde ess and taking a break from emails.

Further reading

Further Reading

4 total

Article

It’s challenging sometimes to know what’s wrong in your relationship. If you’re like many other people, you probably want a loving relationship more than anything else in the world. Maybe you’ve tried and tried and tried to make your relationship work and yet somehow you just seem to be going back over the same old arguments again and again. Questions to consider about control or verbal abuse: • Does your partner always monopolize the conversation? • Does s/he always need to be right? • Does s/he regularly judge or criticize you for things you do and say?r

Related piece

Article

If you want to be a healthy, happy person, it’s very important to learn to love the person you see in the mirror. Although loving yourself can be very challenging if you grew up in a dysfunctional family, it’s definitely worth the time and effort! Whether you feel stressed, anxious or depressed, or whether you are in a challenging relationship or going through a divorce, learning to love yourself is a crucial step in your healing process. When you honestly love yourself, your love overflows to everyone around you and everything in your life begins to sparkle and shine!

Related piece

Article

In today’s tough economic times, many people are facing very difficult life situations. There is mounting uncertainty in the air because so many people have already lost their jobs and their homes. It’s not easy to stay cool, calm and collected when you don’t know what to expect tomorrow. You may feel that staying lighthearted is impossible in today’s world. But after working as a psychotherapist for 30 years, I have found seven simple tools that have proven themselves again and again for coming through the darkness to a more lighthearted way of living.

Related piece

Article

Life feels positive when you experience happiness. Happiness is one of many ingredients that make a positive life positive. However, it takes many more ingredients to create the positive life you want.

Related piece