Sarah And "The Stupid Box"

So there's, Sarah, my "Little Girl," now 12, hopping around like a lunatic. She's inside a large cardboard box that, three hours ago had a new vacuum cleaner in it.

I suppose it's like moths to the light for kids, even those on the verge of being teenagers. The lure of hopping around in a big box is just too great to pass up.

Yeah, my girl still has the enthusiasm of little kid. And the judgment of one too.

There she is, joyfully hopping around in the box as if she's participating in a potato sack race at a summer picnic. Of course most potato sack races take place in open fields. Sarah decided to have hers in the hallway approaching the two steps down to our sunken living room. She knew full well the steps were there, and decided to negotiate them.

And of course the laws of physics work just as well in Connecticut as anywhere else. She missed the first step, sprawled forward and made contact: forehead to piano bench.

If you're a parent, you know that moment when you see your child have a household accident. First, after the momentary panic you assess if they're really hurt and how badly. You look for the reaction and for the cry. Is it a cry of pain? Is it a cry of embarrassment? Is it a "I know I'll be in trouble if I don't whip up some tears quickly" cry? Do they not cry at all?

I quickly figured out Sarah was more embarrassed than hurt. She looked at me, partially to see how I'd react and partially to see how she should react. I went with the old tried and true, "Bounce up, you're OK." I figured I could always backtrack to an icepack or 911 call if I needed to.

Once we both determined she was OK she decided to try for a face saving move. "Stupid box," she blurted out.

A smile of amusement came over my face. "Honey, I don't need to say it, do I?"

Silence. She knew.

A fun story with a kid who learned a cheap lesson about empty boxes and sunken living rooms.

Now, let's talk about you.

You're not a kid, yet you're probably doing things that are as silly and obvious as my girl and her box. Don't be ashamed. We're all human.

The missed opportunities don't come from making the silly mistakes. They come from BLAMING THE CIRCUMSTANCES. The box isn't stupid. It's just a box.

And the circumstances of your life aren't stupid. None of them have the power to make choices for you, even ones in which you seem to be stuck.

Some of the things we do to ourselves are just so obvious to the outside world. We have the benefit of looking at you from the outside in. It's easier for us to see. Some are a bit more subtle. But that's a matter of degree.

In ways big and small we all put ourselves in that box. And we sometimes skate close to a danger zone. We sometimes do a poor job at managing our risk, like the lovely Sarah.

Like I said, it's cool. Make your mistakes. It's part of the human condition.

Then keep growing your skills of observation and accepting personal responsibility. Did you screw up? Bounce up after falling down, laugh at your silliness and decide to do something different.

Energy wasted on blaming the circumstances is energy you could be using on making things better. No exceptions.

I'm going to go put a big empty cardboard box in the garage, out of harm's way. Meanwhile, have fun being your gloriously imperfect self.