No Mistakes

What might life look like if we held the belief that there are no mistakes? For some, this concept is, well, inconceivable. At first blush, it may even seem as though it excuses every thought, word, and action. Not really.

A friend of mine once said, “I’m beginning to believe the only thing to fear is regret.” The wisdom in that statement is profound. We never know in its entirety, what the end result of the Cause and Effect factor will be of our choices. Much of what we call mistakes are the result of taking action without giving thought to potential outcomes {emdash} the “Just do it” mentality. Life has become so fast-paced for most of us, we believe we have to make snap decisions, be ready with a come-back, and generally move through life at warp-speed. All of the time. Granted, there are occasions when we must act quickly, but not every moment as we tend to believe. Sometimes, a wiser mantra is, “Don’t just do something; stand there” {emdash} until you have given conscious thought to your next step. You may not get it right every time, but it will be an easier journey if you strive to anticipate potential regrets as well as decide there are no mistakes, just opportunities.

Many people react rather than respond. Conflict management affirms the importance of giving yourself time to pause rather than continue to engage in a conflict. These pauses allow you time to ask questions such as, What is the desired outcome? Are all parties aligned with the desired outcome? Do I seek to understand before I seek to be understood? Do I listen rather than talk? Do I repeat back what I thought I heard to make certain that is what the person wanted to convey? Many conflicts can be resolved more quickly if we state that alignment is our desired outcome. This opens the conversation about what alignment looks like. This conversation is not limited to groups or with another person; it benefits us to have it with ourselves, as well.

What if you give thought to something and it still doesn’t turn out the way you hoped? Then you must look at it from as many angles as you can and ask, What can I learn from this? We tend to make choices based on what we believe, what we have observed in our families and society. We don’t always make choices based on self-reflection that lead us to head and heart agreement or personal integrity. If the result of your choice appears as a negative, do what you can to fix it. If you can’t fix it, learn from it. Grow from it. Don’t waste it.

It seems to be ingrained in us that we should not make mistakes. How realistic is this? The moments of our lives are like the brush strokes of an artist. Each stroke alters or enhances the previous one. If people would grasp this image as a metaphor for life, they would stop being so hard on themselves. You can strive to be your best self. The way you do this is by being authentically you. Advice has come down through the ages: “To thine own self be true,” and “Know thyself.” Much of the inner suffering and struggles we experience stem from the fact that we either aren’t authentically ourselves or aren’t sure how to be. In order to fit in, we go along with the status quo. It takes a great deal of courage to stand alone when your authentic self and integrity are in conflict with group mentality.
Back to the initial question. What might your life look like if you decided there are no mistakes, just opportunities to learn and grow? Become the artist of your life. Apply your brush strokes with conscious choices. Paint your self-portrait within the landscape of your life as you envision it and yourself. Your life, as is a painting, is a process. Agree to be a part it. It is your journey through life, and your choice to make the most of it.