Silence Is Golden

I recently spent 10 days at a “silent” retreat where meditation and spiritual growth was the main objective for participants. The whole experience was very new and intriguing to me, especially the prospect of bringing together 120 strangers who often don’t even have a chance to learn each other’s name before they start sharing a room, meals, and bathroom facilities. Most of the time eye contact was not even acknowledged as the whole purpose of a silent meditation retreat is to “just be” in some form of meditative state the entire time.

On occasion we were allowed to speak but it was during a teaching session and that was only for the purpose of asking questions. At first I couldn’t imagine how I would be able to go 10 days without speaking however, after just a couple of days I found myself very much at peace with the practice. In fact, I was so use to the silence that I woke myself up one night when I accidently talked out loud in my sleep (oops). n
This experience taught me so much about myself and my mind. One of the lessons I learned is that language (which is so often carelessly used), creates a barrier between people and is the reason for most of the conflict we experience. As human beings, we tend to take what other people say literally and that can lead to hurt feelings and disagreements to say the least. It is important to remember that words often come flying out of our mouths as a knee jerk reaction to anger, fear or stress. If we were to keep silent and practice letting go of all the nonsensical thoughts that pour into our heads, it would definitely alleviate a lot of misunderstandings in our day to day lives.

Something else I noticed amid all the silence is that the mind tends to get very loud inside our head. The only thing we hear is our own thoughts amplified and it is quite surprising at how critical and judgmental those thoughts can be. Several times I found it necessary to tell my mind to just “shut up.” At first it acted like a defiant child and conjured-up even more stupid thoughts and unnecessary criticisms. However, it eventually quieted down and pretty soo
I was experiencing more peace and quiet than annoying thoughts. And to my surprise, the thoughts that I did have didn’t linger, they just passed through my head like a shooting star without my needing to critique them. The practice of “observing my thoughts,” without giving them any particular attention was very refreshing and eventually I found myself in a continuous state of inner peace and happiness.

This experience brought me closer to knowing my true self and gave me the opportunity to be more in touch with my feelings. It was a wonderful way of helping me realize just how much the mind (with its random thoughts), leads us astray from our natural state of awareness, that of goodness and compassion. The more self-aware we are… the more peace, joy and happiness we experience. When we get quiet and come from a place of goodness and compassion, others can feel the difference and our connection with them is deeper and more rewarding.

So, the next time your head starts racing with thoughts brought about by fear, worry, stress or anxiety, try letting them “pass through” your mind instead of giving them any real attention. And by all means, don’t react strongly or speak your thoughts unless you’re sure they are coming “from the heart” and not the mind. Below is a great quote I heard during retreat that sums it up quite nicely:

“When alone watch your mind. When with others watch your mouth!”