Sometimes The Only Way Out Is Through

I'm not sure whether I heard this or read it ~ where or when. All I know is these words keep popping into my head. And whenever they do, they empower me to take action... which is exactly what I need to do when I hear them.

Sometimes I get stuck. No matter how much I know about personal and spiritual transformation, how much I practice what I know, or how carefully I plan my day or my life, sometimes I get stuck. Can you relate?

I Don't Want To Do “IT”

I know what I need to do. Sometimes I just don’t want to.
Maybe I don't feel like doing ‘it.’ If it's because there's something I'd rather do at that moment, and there won't be negative consequences from postponing 'it,' I follow my heart's desire. If, on the other hand, what I want to avoid has a deadline (mine or someone else's) and I want to avoid the consequence of my not doing 'it' right away (for whatever reason,) then the only way out is through... I 'just do it!'
Sometimes I don't want to do 'it' because I'm scared... because it's hard or because I am afraid the results won't be "good enough."

Just like in the earlier example, if ‘it’ has to get done, I "just do it!"

This may mea
I need to give myself extra time. I might need to start sooner, work longer, or divide the task into smaller chunks. There are many options for how to tackle these kinds of challenges, aren't there?

Sometimes I don’t want to do ‘it’ because I don't know how.
I might need to ask for help or delegate 'it' to someone else, which could be an issue in and of itself. Sometimes I don't like asking for help. Maybe I don't know who to ask and finding someone is a whole new project. Or I'm afraid I can't afford the help. Or I'm afraid their involvement will cause delays in my timeline. Does it sound to you like I'm making excuses?
When I sound like this to me, I know it's time for me to decide if 'it' has got to get done. If the answer is a resounding 'YES!' then I know the only way out is through...

I Don’t Want to Feel the Way I’m Feeling

There are times when I feel sad, hurt, disappointed, angry, even judgmental, and I don't want to be feeling that way. I've got many options here. If I can shift my focus to something that's uplifting, inspiring, or simply helps me feel better, I shift. If my attention keeps drifting back to the subject that triggered my negative feelings, that's a good indication that I need to sit with the emotions to find out what treasures are hidden within. The only way out is through...

Maybe the gift is revealed and I move on. Often I discover that I have some work to do around the issue. When I can’t get to the bottom of it by myself through jou
aling, meditation, self-exploration and such, I talk with a trusted friend, coach or counselor.

There have been times when I’ve needed to have a difficult conversation with someone. What’s stopped me? I've been scared... scared their feelings would be hurt... scared they'll get mad... or they might not understand me ~ what I'm thinking and feeling, what I'm going through… or I believe there is no solution because we've talked about 'it' before and we've reached an impasse. Sometimes I'm afraid talking about 'it' will make things worse, or do irrevocable damage to the relationship.
One thing I've learned ~ the hard way ~ is that often, though not always, if the conversation is inevitable, the sooner I have it the better. Usually, the sooner I expressed myself, the less emotionally charged I am.

If, on the other hand, I'm already extremely upset, hurt, angry or in some other emotionally charged state, I’ve given myself a chance to cool off first. On occasion, I’ve even asked a neutral third party to facilitate the conversation. Regardless of how I’ve had this difficult conversation, the only way out has been through…

I’m Going Through a Tough Transitio

While I've confirmed to myself many times over that “the only way out is through,” I have found it most helpful during tough transitions. About two years ago, I went through the toughest transitio
I’d ever experienced. I chose to end the longest and most important relationship of my life. I had been business and life partners with one man for many years, yet for reasons too personal and complicated to describe here, I knew I needed to make some changes.

I had already taken my own advice many times over ~ I shifted my attention, sat with my anger and tears, had the difficult conversations, accepted what I could, changed what I could ~ and still I knew it was time to hit the eject button. I did this in stages... I asked him to move out, then months later with nothing had been resolved, I ended the personal relationship, then a month later the professional one.

I thought I was prepared for the transitions I knew would follow the major changes I was making. I had ended relationships before, and had lived alone for most of my adult life. Being single wasn't a big deal, I thought. And I had been grieving my losses for months already. So I figured I could handle the personal transition. I was wrong…

My biggest fears were about my professional and financial future. I had been working in his businesses for many years, so when I quit, I knew I'd have no income and I would have to start my own career... again…

I had already re-invented myself and my career several times in the past. While the transitions were tough, I got through them. This time felt different. I was burned out, depressed and my self-esteem was nowhere to be found. “How the heck was I going to go out into the world to network and market myself, let alone coach others?” I asked myself.

Yet what choice did I have? I was on my own again, responsible for supporting myself, so out I went into the world to re-activate my coaching business. I figured I could fake it 'til I made it. I'd done it before. And this time I was a seasoned coach, with many satisfied clients and years of experience under my belt. I'd built a practice when most people hadn't even heard of coaching other than for athletes and performing artists. If I did it then, I could do it again, right? Wrong again.... at least not at that time...

After a few months of trying ~ even succeeding here and there ~ I couldn't do it any more. I needed to recover, to mou
and grieve, to discover who I had become, to recharge, re-evaluate, and re-invent myself.

For several months the only way out was in. I cried, I slept, I read, I wrote in my journal and talked to close friends and family members, I did yoga and meditated, I gardened, and I did a lot of sitting like a lump... feeling sorry for myself, feeling lost, scared, sad, angry, and depressed ... I didn't know if I had what it would take to start over ... again ... or even if I wanted to.

I was stuck in “the Void”... the dark night of the soul... and there I stayed for what felt like forever.

I started working with a life coach. Gradually my heart and mind began to heal; my energy and faith returned. I have come to accept that no matter how "good" or "spiritual" I am, there is no avoiding major life changes, endings and tough transitions. I cannot avoid mou
ing and grieving; they are part of the healing process. So is being lost in the dark night of the soul. During the darkest hours I was healed by my tears and personally and spiritually transformed by the moments of hope, joy, appreciation and gratitude for my tough transition.

I began to see the light at the end of the tunnel, then finally I found myself standing on solid ground.

That’s when I decided to create Lifelines to Laughlines™, the program I wished I had found while I was lost and hurting… the program for people going through a tough transition who don’t want to go it alone.

Now with great confidence I can say to you sometimes the only way out is through... n~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~nnn