Talking to Your Spouse about Your Job Search

Loosing your job can put a huge burden on your family and relationship with your spouse. Not only have you lost your income and added to the probably already boiling financial stress, you have added the problem of keeping your spouse's confidence throughout the search.

While searching for a job, what to tell your spouse can be more exasperating than not getting an interview for two months. For starters, if the two of you didn’t talk before you lost your job, how in the heck are you going to start communications under this kind of stress? You better have a plan.

Does your spouse require the details of a story or just the out come? You would know this if you paid attention to your other conversations.

The absolute best advice is to talk about your conversations. Ask your spouse, “how much detail do you want to know?” I find they come in two main classifications.

Don’t Get My Hopes Up

This spouse doesn’t want to get teased or threatened with a relocation if all you have is a lead on a job. Hearing the details at the pre-phone interview, may be to stressful for this spouse. Wait until you have a bird in the hand to start talking about how it could effect your life. That said you still have to leave clues that you are not just playing computer games all day. Make sure you leave lists lying about, with job search tasks scratched out so there is a reassurance the effort is being put forth.

I’m in it With You

This spouse wants to hear the possibilities every day. That reassurance of hope is needed in daily doses, so be prepared at the dinner table to give a positive outlook on your efforts that day. Don’t set up false hopes; but highlight the opportunities as they present themselves. Play up your networking. It gives you an opportunity to add substance to the conversation by bringing your spouse up to date with what is going on in your former colleagues lives. Watch out for a sudden change from tell me the details to I don’t want to get excited about possibilities that always fall apart. As unemployment drags on over six months, a spouse can get gun shy after having their hopes are dashed time and again.

Keeping your spouse encouraged about the prospects and your efforts will pay you back double when you get the job search blues. How have you handled your spouse? And what about the kids?