The Art of Awakening & Surrender in Meditation

"In the beginning stages
of meditation,
you are in control,
you are doing meditation
and this is the way it is supposed to be.

You are awakening
the Shakti (subtle energy) or consciousness
until that experience becomes dominant
in your awareness.

You are actively awakening
that which is beyond body and mind
until that which is beyond body and mind
becomes a powerful presence
in your day to day experience.

It is then when surrender happens.
Whatever arises in consciousness
gets surrendered back into consciousness.

Whatever thoughts or emotions arise
get surrendered back into consciousness,
you let them gornand like a sacrificial fire,
the Shakti burns it all away.

And in that burning,
consciousness expands.

The more you can surrender,
the more Shakti flows through you,
the more amplified consciousness becomes
in your experience.

Then, in meditation,
you realize at some point
that you're in the way.
The sense of me that isrnseparate from everything else,
the sense of me that isrnin control,
the sense of me with all of its
opinions and judgments,
likes and dislikes
must go.

It's just not big enough
for both you and consciousness.
One of you has got to go.

And there is a pressure there
that you feel,
the pressure of this
separate sense of "me"
pushing against consciousness,
separating itself from consciousness.

The ego is like a kink in the water hose,
and that pressure builds up behind it.

And this pressure teaches you
how to surrender yourself completely,
how to disappear completely
so that only consciousness is.

Because the pressure is not pleasant,
you recognize there is stress and conflict
there at a very subtle level.

I am not talking about outer life,
you do not become a zombie
that has no experience of being a body or mind.

But in meditation
this idea of you at some point
is surrendered completely
so that all that is here
is consciousness.

Then that pressure
is freed and there is bliss,
there is incredible bliss.

But none of this can
happen unless
the first part happens,
the awakening of the Shakti
or the awakening of consciousness.

That sense of Shakti or consciousness
has to be there, has to be awakened
and nurtured always,
until it becomes so huge
that all that can happen
is surrender.

This is one way of looking at itrnanyway.

Blessings,
Kip"