The Article from Hell

I began as a normal type article, pretty laid back and entertaining, but then, suddenly. I found myself in hell! Well, I can tell you, hell is no place for a nice article like me, and I certainly did nothing to deserve it (hmm). At any rate, there I was, in the middle of Hades, and it was a . . . hell of an experience!

Now, it's not easy for an article, like myself, to go to hell, because I didn't start out that way. (You just don't jump into a "hand basket" and arrive at hell - most articles have to work at it!)

Usually, I start out quite accommodating, but something went dreadfully wrong, in about the third paragraph, and I started spewing out the most dreadful commentaries and remarks, and then, right in the middle of my tirade, I unexpectedly found myself in hell!

Hell is an interesting place, if you've never been there. Allow me to give you a tour. First of all, it's not a "place" that us articles go to when we are in hell, it's a state of mind that we fall into where all we can see is our own opinions and ideas and have no regard for our fellow articles at all! It's a state of mind that completely overrides the logic, commonsense, and decency of our authors! It seems that we articles take on a life of our own, ignoring the little person behind the computer. Surely, he or she would never write anything as cruel as what we articles come up with; authors have diplomacy, compassion and understanding. It's us articles that make molehills out of mountains! (Or is it the other way around?)

The difference between heaven and hell, for an article like me, is that I feel awful when I am in hell. I feel defensive and insecure, even a little angry and afraid, especially afraid, and then, to make that all go away, I blame other people and give them a one-sided piece of my article mind, trying to prop up my own self-esteem, and push down theirs. It makes me feel better for a moment. But regardless, I remain in hell.

On the other hand, when I am in article heaven, I feel great, not insecure, angry or afraid at all. Actually, I prefer heaven to hell, and sometimes wonder why in the world I would choose hell? It's really a mystery. Why would I choose to be angry, upset, defensive and insecure, instead of feeling happy, content, easy and peaceful? Hmm. Maybe I want to shorten my life? That's it! I hate myself. I mean; how could I hate others if I loved myself? And I probably have a subconscious desire to self-destruct myself. Oh, what woeful states we articles can get into. This is definitely hell!

My author, in contrast, is most always laid back, at least when he is talking face to face with anyone, just sitting there with a big grin on his face, smiling and in control all the time. Maybe it's because he is not responsible for me. That's it! He doesn't have to worry about what me, his article says, because no one ever reads his articles anyway! Ha, ha. How cool! So why should I get so involved and uptight, when I could just as easily make nice to everyone like he does?

But he doesn't teach people a lesson, like I do. That's the difference. When I spew out my hateful rhetoric, I teach people how to be like me - angry and hateful. Such Genius! Now we can all be together in hell - a big happy family!nn - Signed; The Article from hell. nn