The Blind Bind Of Male Depression

Many men have a difficult time recognizing that they are depressed. Men often interpret the word "depression" as describing a state of helplessness or hopelessness, accompanying a general sense of feeling fragile or vulnerable. In many ways our culture conditions men to ignore these states. Men are taught “boys don’t cry,” and are uniformly rewarded with praise and validation when they do not. After years of this kind of persistent reinforcement these boys grow into men with a form of blindness whereby they often do not see or understand the nature of depression.

What men do recognize is the feeling of stress with no awareness that the experiences of stress are the triggers stimulating an internal state of dis-ease that often leads to depression. The following are some of the less recognizable experiences that men commonly describe as stressful and that are symptomatic of depression. n
SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSIONnnhigh levels of anxiety -- irritability, and/or anger --low energy and/or fatigue --loss or lack of confidence --loss of interest in favorite activities --weight loss or gain --loss of sex drive --sleep problems --inability to relax --obsessive-compulsive behavior -- frequent suffering from vague physical ailments.

TRIGGERS OF DEPRESSION

Many normal and joyous life experiences can trigger depression. A new relationship, a new baby, a new home or job, a large inheritance, or even winning the lottery. Each of these events bring additional and, at times, unfamiliar experiences that can inhibit a man's ability to effectively manage these new experiences. If such a situation continues long enough a man’s self worth can diminish and depression can then set in.

Separation, divorce, loss of a job, retirement, a death, constant and unrelenting pressures from others to do things their way--these also can tax a man's sense of competency and self-worth leading to intense anxiety, tension, fatigue, and, with no relief, depression.

Physical illness and unrelenting pain can also trigger depression. Pain is the body’s red alert system that something is misfiring. When pain is intense enough or it persists long enough it creates unrelieved stress on our natural biological defense systems. Once that happens our immune system and other related defense systems become compromised and can no longer provide necessary relief. One of the common results of this biologically-based depletion is depression.

THE BLIND BIND OF MALE DEPRESSION

Men are conditioned from the time they are little boys to be problem solvers, doers, and thinkers. As such they push themselves to meet time lines, sales quotas, budget schedules, and expectations of family and friends. They are not taught to consider or are not aware of the cost these pressures can impose on their physical well being and emotional peace of mind. They are blinded to the understanding that if the cost gets high enough fatigue, irritability, impatience, and the other symptoms of depression start to manifest.

HEALING FROM THE BLIND BIND OF DEPRESSION

Men did not ask for this blind-bind state of being. Nor can they return to their pasts and change the experiences that conditioned them to overlook, ignore, or have little understanding of the symptoms of depression and the interactions that trigger it. However, men can learn to recognize the symptoms and seek help.

Depression is treatable and with the support of a knowledgeable doctor and a skilled psychotherapist who has experience and training working with men suffering from depression, the blind bind of male depression can release. And with that release men can then acquire the tools to alleviate the symptoms of depression, to prevent its debilitating re-occurrence, and to live with a consistent sense of healthy and enjoyable connection with self and others.© Patti Desert 2008 All Rights Reservedn