The Empathy Gene: If You Have It, You Are A Natural Coach? Get Paid for Your Talents.

"The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy, we can all sense a mysterious connection to each other." ~ Meryl Streep

The ability to resonate with another person on a deep level is the core talent of a parenting coach, and all coaches for that matter. Such resonance is achieved through empathy, the ability to feel with her client, not to feel for them or about them. Resonating with clients is a striking intuitive knowing which enables you as a parenting coach to predict their needs and provide an unprecedented quality of care in your coaching practice.

The ability to resonate with others is the character strength of a person whose core temperament is Interpersonal, that is naturally supportive and caring in your responses to others. The mottos of the Academy for Coaching Parents International are focused around this concept of empathy:

"To empower and sustain loving relationships" and
“To make a difference.”

The first thing a coach does is establish a loving relationship with the client, who may be a parent, grandparent, caregiver or anyone who has hired a coach to help them better parent or serve as a more effective guardian or caregiver to children.

Parent coaches assist, help, inform, inspire, and educate. They provide clarity, reflection, and reality checks for parental illusion, and support a parent's intuition. They are responsive and responsible as they provide frameworks and structures for conversations around sensitive issues.

A parent coach may serve as a coach for a parent’s personal confidence, or is involved with family relationships and parent/child issues. A parent coach is a mentor, not a doctor, minister or therapist. A coach is a friendly person a parent can call with everyday problems. A coach provides encouragement and expertise, coaching and challenges, all with the foundation of empathy. Through empathy the connection is made.

Empathy is more than feeling pain; it is also connecting to one’s struggle, emotional intention as well as feelings of joy and celebration. Babies demonstrate empathy in a global sense. If other babies cry, then babies respond with crying. By the time a child is 2 ½ years old, he or she has developed a self-identity and understands the feelings of distress belong to his playmate or parent or sibling. You will see preschool children empathize by reaching out to alleviate another’s distress through words or touch. By age 8, a child understands the human plight of birth, death and vulnerability.

Children depend upon the demonstrations of responsiveness, warmth and empathy from the people in their world to continue cultivating connection and empathy within themselves… or their ability to remain empathic is up for grabs. Assuming empathy continues to develop, then how do adults of different styles show empathy?

A parent coach is the model for empathy, helping a parent to learn the use of empathy through modeling. In turn, a parent who feels successful will model responsiveness with their children. AND…we will have succeeded in making a difference – the truer mission of a parenting coach.